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1、EnglishJokes1，Moneyisnoteverything,becausethereismastercardandvisasometimes.钱不是万能的，有时候还需要信用卡。2，AmangoestochurchandstartstalkingtoGod.Hesays:"God,whatisamilliondollarstoyou?"andGodsays:"Apenny",thenthemansays:"God,whatisamillionyearstoyou?"andGodsays:"asecond",thenthemansays:"God,canIhaveapenny?"andG
2、odsays"Inasecond"一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊,一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."3，Fourbestfriendsmetatthehospitalsincetheirwivesweregivingbirthstotheirbabies.Thenursecomesuptothefirstmanandsays,"Congratulations,yougottwins."Themansaid"Howstrange,I'mthemanagero
3、fMinnesotaTwins."Afterawhilethenursecomesuptothesecondmanandsays,"Congratulations,yougottriplets."Manwaslike"Hmmm,strangeIworkedasadirectorforthe"3musketeers."Finally,thenursecomesuptothethirdmanandsays"Congratulations,yougottwinsx2."Manishappyandsays,"Ironic,Iworkforthehotel"4Seasons."Allthreeofthe
4、marehappyuntiltheyseetheirlastbuddyjumpingallovertheplace,cursingGodandbanginghisheadonthewall.Theyaskedhimwhat'swrongandheanswered,"What'swrong?Iworkfor7up"!四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭
5、喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"4，Oncetwohunterswenthuntingintheforest.Oneofthemsuddenlyfelldownbyaccident.Heshowedthewhitesofhiseyesandseemedtohaveceasedbreathing.Theotherhuntersoontookouthismobilephonetocalltheemergencyc
6、enterforhelp.Theoperatorsaidcalmly:"First,youshouldmakesurethatheisalreadydead."Thentheoperatorheardagunshotfromtheotherendofthephoneandnextheheardthehunterasking:"WhatshouldIdonext?"两个猎人进森林里打猎，其中一个猎人不慎跌倒，两眼翻白，似已停止呼吸。另一个猎人赶紧拿出手机拨通紧急求助电话。接线员沉着地说：“第一步，要先确定你的朋友已经死亡。”于是，接线员在电话里听到一声枪响，然后听到那猎人接着问：“第二步怎办？”
7、5，OnedaytheArabicnumber0mettheArabicnumber8inthestreet.Ogave8ascornfulglanceabdsaid:"Sinceitisthefactthatyouareplump,isthereanyneedtotieawaistband?"一天0和8在街上相遇，0不屑地看了8一眼说：“胖就胖呗，还系什么裤腰带啊？”6,"Whydoesyour
