jokes英语小笑话集锦

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1、Twostorksaresittingintheirnest:afatherstorkandbabystork.Thebabystorkiscryingandcryingandfatherstorkistryingtocalmhim."Don´tworry,son.Yourmotherwillcomeback.She´sonlybringingpeoplebabiesandmakingthemhappy."Thenextnight,it´sfather´sturntodothejob.Mothe

2、randsonaresittinginthenest,thebabystorkiscrying,andmotherissaying"Son,yourfatherwillbebackassoonaspossible,butnowhe´sbringingjoytonewmommiesanddaddies."Afewdayslater,thestork´sparentsaredesperate:theirsonisabsentfromthenestallnight!Shortlybeforedawn,

3、hereturnsandtheparentsaskhimwherehe´sbeenallnight.Thebabystorksays,"Nowhere.Justscaringthehelloutofstudentsscarethehelloutofsb吓着某人Whyisthenumber10afraidofseven?Becausesevenatenine,and10isnext.----------------Teacher:"Whocantellmewhat7times6is?"Studen

4、t:"It's42!"Teacher:"Verygood!-Andwhocantellmewhat6times7is?"Samestudent:"It's24!"----------Q:Whatdoesthezerosaytothetheeight?A:Nicebelt!----------(3).Tom:Williamhasaskedmeforaloanoffivepounds.ShouldIbedoingrightinlendingittohim?Jack:Certainly.Tom:And

5、why?Jack:Becauseotherwisehewouldtrytoborrowitfromme.----------(4)Anoldladywhowasverydeafandwhothoughteverythingtoodear,wentintoashopandaskedtheshopman:'Howmuchthisstuff?''Sevendollars,Madam,itisverycheap.'Theladysaid,'Itistoomuch,giveittomeforfourtee

6、n.''Ididnotsayseventeendollars,butseven.''Itisstilltoomuch,'repliedtheoldlady,'giveittomeforfive.'”(5)Mr.Johnson:Areyouusingyoumowerthisafternoon?Mr.Smith:Yes.Mr.Johnson:Fine.ThencanIborrowyourtennisracket,sinceyouwon'tbeneedingit?Heisreallysomebody-

7、-Myunclehas1000menunderhim.--Heisreallysomebody.Whatdoeshedo?--Aworkerinacemetery(公墓)TheNewTeacherGeorgecomesfromschoolonthefirstofSeptember."George,howdidyoulikeyournewteacher?"askedhismother."Ididn'tlikeher,Mother,becauseshesaidthatthreeandthreewer

8、esixandthenshesaidthattwoandfourweresixtoo....."----------AmangoestochurchandstartstalkingtoGod.Hesays:"God,whatisamilliondollarstoyou?"andGodsays:"Apenny",thenthemansays:"God,whatisamillionyearstoyou?"andGodsays:"asecond",thenthemansays:"God,canIhav