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1、Whywelovewhowelove打破砂锅爱到底真的有一见钟情这回事吗?为什么没有呢?当爱情来了的时候,那一刻无论如何,情侣们总会找到他们相互惺惺相惜之处。这也许就像他们都曾经读过同一本书,都在一个镇上出生一样平常。同时,他们又会看到双方性格上的互补。Haveyoueverknownamarriedcouplethatjustdidn'tseemasthoughtheyshouldfittogether--yettheyarebothhappyinthemarriage,andyoucan'tfigureoutwhy?Iknowofonecouple:He
2、isaburlyex-athletewho,inadditiontobeingasuccessfulsalesman,coachesLittleLeague,isactiveinhisRotaryClubandplaysgolfeverySaturdaywithfriends.Meanwhile,hiswifeispetite,quietandacompleteHomebody.Shedoesn'tevenliketogoouttodinner.Whatmysteriousforcedrivesusintothearmsofoneperson,whilepu
3、shingusawayfromanotherwhomightappearequallydesirabletoanyunbiasedobserver?Ofthemanyfactorsinfluencingourideaoftheperfectmate,oneofthemosttelling,accordingtoJohnMoney,professoremeritusofmedicalpsychologyandpediatricsatJohnsHopkinsUniversity,iswhathecallsour"lovemap"--agroupofmessage
4、sencodedinourbrainsthatdescribesourlikesanddislikes.Itshowsourpreferencesinhairandeyecolor,invoice,smell,andbodybuild.Italsorecordsthekindofpersonalitythatappealstous,whetherit'sthewarmandfriendlytypeorthestrong,silenttype.Inshort,wefallforandpursuethosepeoplewhomostclearlyfitourlo
5、vemap.Andthislovemapislargelydeterminedinchildhood.Byageeight,thepatternforouridealmatehasalreadybeguntofloataroundinourbrains.WhenIlecture,Ioftenaskcouplesintheaudiencewhatdrewthemtotheirdatesormates.Answersrangefrom"She'sstrongandindependent"and"Igoforredheads"to"Ilovehissenseofh
6、umor"and"Thatcrookedsmile,that'swhatdidit."RobertWinch,alongtimesociologyprofessoratNorthwesternUniversity,statedinhisresearchthatourchoiceofamarriagepartnerinvolvesanumberofsocialsimilarities.Buthealsomaintainedthatwelookforsomeonewithcomplementaryneeds.Atalkerisattractedtosomeone
7、wholikestolisten,oranaggressivepersonalitymayseekoutamorepassivepartner.However,thereareinstanceswherepeopleofdifferentsocialbackgroundsendupgettingmarriedandbeingextremelyhappy.Iknowofoneman,afactoryworkerfromatraditionalIrishfamilyinChicago,whofellinlovewithanAfricanAmericanBapti
8、st.Whentheygotmarried,thei