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1、远离负面情绪怒火扑救指南 Picturethis:you'repumpedtostartyourworkdaywithacupofcoffee,whenyouseethatyourjerkcoworkerhasleftthebreakroominshambles:groundseverywhere,dishsoapoozingonthecounter,halfopenedsugarpacketsonthefloorbythetrash. 我们不妨设想一下这样一个情景：你正精神抖擞打算给自己来杯咖啡好开始一天的工作然而当你走进休息室却发现里面已经被邋
2、遢同事弄得一片狼藉——到处都是咖啡渣香皂盒里满是香皂液甚至都溢到了洗手台上地面垃圾遍布已经打开的糖包散落其间…… Sofrustrating.Andifyou'relikemostofus,thefirstthingyouwanttodoisblowoffsteam.Wethinkofventingasatransferofheat;asblowingoffsteam,meaninganger,whichwouldotherwisestayinside,creatingpressurewhichcouldcauseustoexplodeatanino
3、pportunemoment.Ventingisdifferentthanplaining,whichmeansvoicingaconcernwiththegoalofchangingsomethingoraddressingthecauseoftheproblem. 这种事情实在让人无法忍受如果和大多数人一样你的第一反应肯定是大发雷霆其实发泄是一种能量的传递想“大发脾气”是因为有怒火在胸中燃烧如果不释放出来就会不断累积直到最后某个时机一股脑爆发出来发泄怒火和抱怨是两回事抱怨的含义更多在于表达某种担忧而最终目的是想做出改变或解决问题 Youcang
4、etakindofwarpedsatisfactionfromtalkingaboutbeingangrywithoutnecessarilywantingtochangethecircumstancesthattriggerthatemotion.Butresearchsuggeststhatventingangerdoesn'tgetridofit.Instead,itamplifiesthosenegativefeelings. 有些人往往只是单纯地发泄怒火来得到某种畸形的快感而不去找出怒火的源头想办法改善不如意的情况但研究表明发脾气并不会使怒
5、气消失反而会激化负面情绪 Therearesomeobviousdownsidestoshowingyourangerinthiswaysomestudiessuggestthatangrypeopletendtobeatgreaterriskforheartdisease.Butbesidesthelargerhealthrisks,fumingemployeescancorrodeaworkplaceenvironment. 这种以发脾气来发泄怒火的方式有一些明显的弊端——诸多研究表明脾气火爆的人更容易得心脏病但除了健康上的危害爱发脾气的员工还
6、会破坏工作环境 Evenso,ventingisanofficestaple.Theaverageemployeeeitherventsorhearssomeoneelseventaboutfourtimesaday,accordingtoKristinBehfar,aprofessorofbusinessadministrationattheUniversityofVirginia'sDardenSchoolofBusiness.Mostpapersonventingfindthatit'snegative,buttheystopthere.The
7、ydon'tfindwhatthelistenerdoes,Behfarsays.Sosheandhercolleaguesworkedonastudy,currentlyunderreview,thatlooksatthebestwaytomitigatethedamagingeffectsofventing. 即便如此发泄怒火仍然是职场上的家常便饭美国弗吉尼亚大学达顿商学院工商管理学教授克里斯汀贝法尔说平均每位员工每天发火或者目睹同事发火的次数可达四次“大部分研究都只局限在证明发泄怒火的负面效应而没有作更深入的研究这些研究并没有关注听众的行为”贝
8、法尔和她的同事进行了一项研究力图寻找最佳方法来减轻发泄怒火所带来的破坏性影响目前该研究正处于归
