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1、HowILearnedtoStopWorryingandLovetheFlowbyPeggyNelson
2、July23,2010
3、Nothingpreparesyouforyourfirsttime.YouYeoutwithsomeone,maybeadate,maybejustfriends,everything'sfine,andthenhewhipsitout,rightinfrontofyou一atarestaurant,onthestreet,anywhere.Youtrynottolookatit,youtrytolookabsolutelyanywhereelse—fi
4、nallyhefinishesandputsitawayandcontinuesonwiththeconversation,justlikenothinghappened.Ormaybeheairsitoutforawhile,oreven—casually—holdsontoit,incaseitvibrates.
5、Youknow,thephone.
6、Itfitsinyourpocket,whyshouldn'tyoucarryit?Ifsalwayson,whyshouldn'tyouanswerit?WhyshouldrYtyoutextsomeonetheminuteyout
7、hinkofsomething,orchecktoseewhatthey'redoing?Whyshouldn,tyoubeavailable,toeveryone,allthetime?4Availabilityatadistanceoftenmeansrudenessinperson.Showingupmeansyou7ealreadyover.Presencepalesbeforepossibility.Itisn'tgoodenoughtobewithwhoyouarewith,youshouldbeonyourwaytothenextfabulousparty,likeEd
8、ieSedgwickandAndyWarhol.Exactlylikethem,infact;ifstheCultoftheNewwritsmall,personalized.AnythingismeaningfulififsNew.Anythingisbetterifit'sNew.AnythingisworthhavingififsNew.
9、Exceptthatitisn't.Idon'tmeanitisn'tnew.Imeanitisn'tjustconsumption.Itisanewetiquette.Anditischangingnotonlythestorieswete
10、ll,buttheenvironmentinwhichtheyaretold一andwhofeelsauthorizedtotellthem.6Atitsmostgeneral,etiquettehelpsusnotkilleachother.Anegotiationbetweentheselfandothers,itsmoothesroughedges,defusesconflict,andenablesacommonstandardofexchangeconductedmoreinwordsthansteel.Ourproximatelegacyistheetiquetteoft
11、heEnlightenment,inwhichtheindividualistheultimate,indivisibleunitofcivilization,andistreatedassuch.Forexample,beingwithsomebodymeansfocusingattentiononthatperson.Yourespectthediscretenatureoftheindividualbybeingdiscreetabouttherest.Doyouneedtomakeacallorcheckamessagerightthatminute?No,actually,
12、youdon't;youwaituntilyouhaveretired,toyouroffice,toyourprivatespace,andconducttherestofyouraffairsfromthere.IEtiquetteisnotjustaboutwhichforktouse.Orrather,itis—butnowit'sfork,fork,cellphone;thevibrationofwhichsignalstheendoftheEn
