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1、英语:幽默小故事6篇1、Gooduseofcry哭的妙用Theparentswiththeirthree-year-oldsonwenttoseefilm.Whentheywalkedintothecinema,theattendantsaidtothem,“you’llhavetogooutifyoursoncries.Butwe’llrefundyouthetickets.”Abouthalfanhourlater,thehusbandaskedhiswife,“Whatdoyouthinkofthefilm?”“I’veneverseensuchaboringfilm.”Hi
2、swifeanswered.“It’snotworthseeing.”“Idon’tthinkmuchofit,either.”Thehusbandsaid.“Wakethechildupandlethimcry.”一对夫妇带着他们3岁的儿子去看电影。进电影院时,服务员对他们说:“如果你们的儿子哭了,你们就得出去。不过我们会给你们退票的。”大约半个小时以后,丈夫对妻子说:“你觉得这电影怎么样?”“我从没看过这么没劲的电影。”妻子回答说,“真不值得看。”“我也不喜欢看。”丈夫说:“叫醒孩子,让他哭。”2、WhataSmartWife家有笨妻Anewlymarriedwomanwass
3、ittingonachair,lookingvexed,whenherhusbandcamehome."What'sup?Whydoyoulooksotroubled?"thehusbandasked.Thewomanreplied,"I'msosorry.Iwasironingyournewsuitandburnedaholeinyourtrousers."Andthemansaid,"That'sallright.Ihaveanotherpairthatisexactlythesame.""ThankGodyoudo.Iusedittomendthispair,"thewife
4、responded.有一个刚结婚的太太,坐在椅子那边,看起来很懊恼,她先生回家看到她这个样子,就问:‘嗨,你怎么啦?为什么看起来这么懊恼呢?’太太说:‘很抱歉,你那件新做的西装裤被我烫坏了,烫成一个洞了。’他先生说:‘啊!那个没关系啦!我还有另外一件一样的裤子。’她说:‘是啊,还好我把那件新的拿出来补那件被我烫坏的。’3、Endearingterms英语幽默故事:可爱的称呼Berniewasinvitedtohisfriend'shomefordinner.Morris,thehost,precededeveryrequesttohiswifebyendearingterms,ca
5、llingherHoney,MyLove,Darling,Sweetheart,etc.BernielookedatMorrisandremarked,"Thatisreallynice,thatafteralltheseyearsthatyouhavebeenmarried,andyoukeepcallingyourwifethosepetnames."Morrishunghisheadandwhispered,"Totellthetruth,Iforgothernamethreeyearsago."Bernie应邀来到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。在朋友家,Bernie发现,不
6、管问他老婆什么问题,Morris总要在每句话的前面加上一些亲密的称呼,象蜜糖,我的爱人,亲爱的,甜心等等。Bernie对Morris说,“你们夫妻俩真够亲密的,结婚这么多年了,你还叫她叫得那么亲密。”Morris低下头,小声地对Bernie说,“老实跟你说吧,三年前我忘记老婆的真名是什么了。”4、Areyouanormalperson?你是正常人吗?Duringavisittothementalasylum,avisitoraskedthedirector...,"Whatisthecriterionthatdefinesapatienttobeinstitutionalized?
7、""Well..."saidthedirector,"wefillupabathtub,andweofferateaspoon,ateacup,andabuckettothepatientandaskhimtoemptythebathtub.""Oh,Iunderstand,"saidthevisitor."Anormalpersonwouldchoosethebucketasitislargerthanthespoonortheteacup.""Noooooooo!