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1、1、Gooduseofcry哭的妙用Theparentswiththeirthree-year-oldsonwenttoseefilm.Whentheywalkedintothecinema,theattendantsaidtothem,“you’llhavetogooutifyoursoncries.Butwe’llrefundyouthetickets.”Abouthalfanhourlater,thehusbandaskedhiswife,“Whatdoyouthinkofthefilm?”“I’veneverseensuchaboringfilm.”Hiswifeanswered
2、.“It’snotworthseeing.”“Idon’tthinkmuchofit,either.”Thehusbandsaid.“Wakethechildupandlethimcry.”一对夫妇带着他们3岁的儿子去看电影。进电影院时，服务员对他们说：“如果你们的儿子哭了，你们就得出去。不过我们会给你们退票的。”大约半个小时以后，丈夫对妻子说：“你觉得这电影怎么样？”“我从没看过这么没劲的电影。”妻子回答说，“真不值得看。”“我也不喜欢看。”丈夫说：“叫醒孩子，让他哭。”2、WhataSmartWife家有笨妻Anewlymarriedwomanwassittingonachair,l
3、ookingvexed,whenherhusbandcamehome."What'sup?Whydoyoulooksotroubled?"thehusbandasked.Thewomanreplied,"I'msosorry.Iwasironingyournewsuitandburnedaholeinyourtrousers."Andthemansaid,"That'sallright.Ihaveanotherpairthatisexactlythesame.""ThankGodyoudo.Iusedittomendthispair,"thewiferesponded.有一个刚结婚的太太
4、，坐在椅子那边，看起来很懊恼，她先生回家看到她这个样子，就问：‘嗨，你怎么啦？为什么看起来这么懊恼呢？’太太说：‘很抱歉，你那件新做的西装裤被我烫坏了，烫成一个洞了。’他先生说：‘啊！那个没关系啦！我还有另外一件一样的裤子。’她说：‘是啊，还好我把那件新的拿出来补那件被我烫坏的。’3、Endearingterms英语幽默故事:可爱的称呼Berniewasinvitedtohisfriend'shomefordinner.Morris,thehost,precededeveryrequesttohiswifebyendearingterms,callingherHoney,MyLove,D
5、arling,Sweetheart,etc.BernielookedatMorrisandremarked,"Thatisreallynice,thatafteralltheseyearsthatyouhavebeenmarried,andyoukeepcallingyourwifethosepetnames."Morrishunghisheadandwhispered,"Totellthetruth,Iforgothernamethreeyearsago."Bernie应邀来到他的朋友Morris家吃晚餐。在朋友家，Bernie发现，不管问他老婆什么问题，Morris总要在每句话的前面
6、加上一些亲密的称呼，象蜜糖，我的爱人，亲爱的，甜心等等。Bernie对Morris说，“你们夫妻俩真够亲密的，结婚这么多年了，你还叫她叫得那么亲密。”Morris低下头，小声地对Bernie说，“老实跟你说吧，三年前我忘记老婆的真名是什么了。”4、Areyouanormalperson？你是正常人吗？Duringavisittothementalasylum,avisitoraskedthedirector...,"Whatisthecriterionthatdefinesapatienttobeinstitutionalized?""Well..."saidthedirector,"w
7、efillupabathtub,andweofferateaspoon,ateacup,andabuckettothepatientandaskhimtoemptythebathtub.""Oh,Iunderstand,"saidthevisitor."Anormalpersonwouldchoosethebucketasitislargerthanthespoonortheteacup.""Noooooooo!"answeredt
