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1、英语幽默小故事集锦约会 WhentheyoungwaitressinthecaféinTom'sbuildingstartedwavinghelloeveryday.Tomwasflattered,forshewasatleast15yearsyoungerthanhe.OnedayshewavedandbeckonedtoTomagain.WhenTomstrolledover,sheasked,"Areyousingle?" "Why,yes,"Tomreplied,smilingatherbroadly. "Soismymom,"she
2、said."Wouldyouliketomeether?" 约会 在汤姆工作的大楼里有一个咖啡屋，那儿总有一位小姐每天都和他打招呼。汤姆有些受宠若惊，因为这位小姐看上去至少比他年轻15岁。一天她又对汤姆招手并示意汤姆过去。于是汤姆走了过去。她问道，“您现在是单身吗？”“对，是单身，”汤姆满脸堆笑的说。“我母亲也是，”她说，“您愿不愿意见见她？” TakenforGranted THESCHOOLHEALTHFORMShadbeendistributedtothestudentswithanerror---theword"Sex"hadbee
3、nspelledwithan"o".Onemother,fillingouttheformforherson,wroteintheblanknextto"Sox":"Usuallybrown." 理所当然 某学校发给学生的健康调查表里有个错别字——把“性别”的“性”字写成了“袜”字。一位母亲在为她的儿子填写表格时，在“袜别”的那栏填上了：“棕色为主。”[注]英语中sex（性）与sox（袜）只有一个字母之差。世界上最爱你的女人 Whichwoman? OneeveningIdrovemyhusband'scartotheshoppingmall
4、. Onmyreturn,Inoticedthathowdustytheoutsideofhiscarwasandcleaneditupabit.WhenIfinallyenteredthehouse,Icalledout."Thewomanwholovesyouthe mostintheworldjustcleanedyourheadlightsandwindshield." Myhusbandlookedupandsaid,"Mom'shere?" 哪一位女人？ 一天晚上我开着丈夫的车去购物，回来后发现车身沾满灰尘，于是擦洗了一阵。当我终于
5、走进屋里时大声喊：“世界上最爱你的女人刚擦洗了你的车灯和挡风玻璃。” 我丈夫抬头看了看，说：“妈妈来了？” 一只小猫 MrsBrownwenttovisitoneofherfriendandcarriedasmallboxwithholespunchedinthetop. "What'sinyourbox?"askedthefriend. "Acat,"answeredMrsBrown."YouseeI'vebeendreamingaboutmiceatnightandI'msoscared!Thiscatistocatchthem."
6、"Butthemiceareonlyimaginary,"saidthefriend. "Soisthecat,"whisperedMrsBrown. 布朗夫人去拜访一位朋友，她拿着一个顶部扎满了小眼儿的盒子。“盒子里装的是什么 ？”朋友问道。“一只小猫，”布朗夫人回答说，“你知道我晚上睡觉总梦见老鼠，我非常害怕。这只猫可以抓住那些老鼠。”“可老鼠都是假想的呀。”朋友说。“小猫也是假想的。”布朗夫人小声说道。 MyWifeWillExchangeThemTomorrow MyWifeWillExchangeThemTomorrow. Ag
7、entlemanwalksintoastoreandaskedforapairofgloves. "Clothofleather?"askedthesalesperson. "Makesnodifference,"repliedcustomer. "Whatcolor?"askedtheclerk. "Any,"heresponded. "Size?" "Givemewhateveryouprefer,"thegentlemansaid,slightly exasperated."Mywifewillbebacktomorr
8、owtoexchangethem." 反正我太太明天会来换的。 一位先生走进一家商店要买付
