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1、靠近爱的七大步Isyourliferuledbyloveorbyfear?Loveandfearareoppositeemotionalattitudesthatshapeourlifeinverydifferentways.ThepsychoanalystJohnMcMurraydescribesthedifferencelikethis:"Thefear-determinedhavenosuninthemselvesandgoaboutputtingoutthesuninotherpeople.Thelove-determin
2、edhavelifeinthem,abundantlife.Theyarethepeoplewhoarereallyalive,ofwhomitcanbesaidthattheypossesseternallifeasawellwithinthemperpetually."Lifeisalotmorebeautifulandvividifitisdeterminedbyloveandnotbyfear.I’msureyoucanimaginethatsomeonedeterminedcompletelybylovewouldbea
3、kindofsaint.Incontrast,mostofusordinaryhumanbeingsaredeterminedbybothforces,loveandfear.However,inmyexperience,evenatinyshifttowardslove—andawayfromfear—canbringalotmoreHappiness.Hereare7tipsthatyoucanmovetowardsloveandawayfromfear.1.CultivategratitudeGratitudemakesus
4、feelhappier.Ifyouremembertobegratefulfortheblessingsofyourlife,youstarttofeelmoreconnectedtoyourselfandothers.Whenyouletgoofnigglesandembracegratitudeinstead,lovespringsup.2.Reality-testyourfearSometimesfearcanbelikeacloudthatkeepsoutthesunlight.Theneverythingfeelshug
5、eandoppressive.Asimplewaytodealwithfearistotestitsreality.Writedownthreethingsthatyouareafraidof.Thenlookateachpointandaskyourself,“Isthisfearreallygroundedinreality?”IknowthatwhenIdothis,Ioftenfindthatmyfearsareunfounded.It’slikelivinginashadow-land,peeringintothefut
6、ureandexpectingbadthingstohappen.3.TakeactionFearisoftenbornoutofinaction.Forexample,ifyougetasensethatyourhealthisimpaired,butyoudon'tcheckitoutwithadoctor,youmaystarttoimaginethatyouareheadingforamajorhealthcrisis.(IcouldfillawholenotebookwithillnessesIoncethoughtIh
7、ad-butneveractuallygot!)Onceyou'vebeentoadoctorandreviewedtheproblems,thestepstowardsrenewedhealthmayseemmuchmoremanageable.Takingactionisthebestantidotetofear.Onceyoustarttoaddresstheissuesonebyone,fearsshrinkandmayevendisappear.-2-用心爱心专心4.CultivatefriendshipsGoodfri
8、endsareimportantbecausetheyteachustolove.It'softenmucheasiertoloveagoodfriendthanitistoloveandforgiveourpartner.Friendsarela
