高中英语作文点评：NoPains,NoGains

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1、高中英语作文点评：NoPains,NoGains高中英语作文点评：NoPains,NoGains高州屮学梁冠华在最近的一次作文训练中，我让学生写了下血的一篇作文：请以“Nopains,Nogains"为题写一篇作文。写作提示：解释谚语；举例说明；结论。词数：150—250。学生的习作如下：NoPains,NoGainsAsweal1know,“nopains，nogains”isaninfluentialproverbstressingtheimportanceofhardworking.Ittellsusthatonly

2、byworkinghardcanweachieveourgoals,andonthecontrary,theonewhoislazywillnevergainthethingshewants.LiYundiisafamouspianistintheworld.Mostofusareamazedathisperfectperformance,butfewofusknowhowmuchtimeandenergyhehasspentinpractising.Hestartedplayingthepianowhenhewasonl

3、y5yearsold.Henevergaveuppractisingeventhoughhemetdifficultics.WhenotherchildrenatthesameagewereplayinggamesoutsideorwatchingTV,hewasplayingthepiano,totallyabsorbedinthebeautifulmusic.Healsotookpartinmanycompetitionstoimprovehisskills.Finally,hebecameworld-famouswh

4、enhewonthechampioninChopinInternationalPianoCompetition,whichisoneofthebest-knownpianocompetitionsintheworld.AndheisthefirstChinesepianisttoreceivesuchagreathonour.LiYundiwouldneverbecomesosuccessfulifhedidn‘tpractisesohard.Andwewouldn"tgainwhatwewantifwedidn"twor

5、khard.Nopains,nogains.(209words)这是一篇好作文，好在哪里？在高中阶段，作文是好述是不好，评判标准是这篇文章在考试中是否能拿高分。在高考中，作文是否能获得高分，主要看两方面：一是语言，二是内容。一、首先，我们看看这篇作文在语言表达方面的情况：1、句子无错误通观整篇文章，句子没有错误，或者说评卷老师在几十秒内很难找出错误。避免语法和拼写的低级错误，避免被扣印彖分，是学生在写作文时要做的首要事情。语言表达无错误是作文拿高分的前提，是好文章的基本标准。2、使用了较多的复合句这篇文章用了12个从句，从

6、而构成了大量的复合句：(1)Asweallknow,"nopains,nogainsvisaninfluentialproverbstressingtheimportanceofhardworking.(2)Ittellsusthatonlybyworkinghardcanweachieveourgoals.(3)•••theonewhoislazywillnevergainthethingshewants.(4)---fewofusknowhowmuchtimeandenergyhehasspentinpractisin

7、g・(5)Hestartedplayingthepianowhenhewasonly5yearsold.(6)Henevergaveuppractisingeventhoughhemetdifficulties.(7)WhenotherchildrenatthesameagewereplayinggamesoutsideorwatchingTV,hewasplayingthepiano…(8)Finally,hebecameworld-famouswhenhewonthechampioninChopinInternatio

8、nalPianoCompetition,whichisoneofthebost-knownpianocompelitionsintheworld.(9)LiYundiwouldneverbecomesosuccessfulifhedidn"tpractisesohard.(10)Andwewouldtg