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1、高中英语作文点评:NoPains,NoGains高中英语作文点评:NoPains,NoGains高州屮学梁冠华在最近的一次作文训练中,我让学生写了下血的一篇作文:请以“Nopains,Nogains"为题写一篇作文。写作提示:解释谚语;举例说明;结论。词数:150—250。学生的习作如下:NoPains,NoGainsAsweal1know,“nopains,nogains”isaninfluentialproverbstressingtheimportanceofhardworking.Ittellsusthatonly
2、byworkinghardcanweachieveourgoals,andonthecontrary,theonewhoislazywillnevergainthethingshewants.LiYundiisafamouspianistintheworld.Mostofusareamazedathisperfectperformance,butfewofusknowhowmuchtimeandenergyhehasspentinpractising.Hestartedplayingthepianowhenhewasonl
3、y5yearsold.Henevergaveuppractisingeventhoughhemetdifficultics.WhenotherchildrenatthesameagewereplayinggamesoutsideorwatchingTV,hewasplayingthepiano,totallyabsorbedinthebeautifulmusic.Healsotookpartinmanycompetitionstoimprovehisskills.Finally,hebecameworld-famouswh
4、enhewonthechampioninChopinInternationalPianoCompetition,whichisoneofthebest-knownpianocompetitionsintheworld.AndheisthefirstChinesepianisttoreceivesuchagreathonour.LiYundiwouldneverbecomesosuccessfulifhedidn‘tpractisesohard.Andwewouldn"tgainwhatwewantifwedidn"twor
5、khard.Nopains,nogains.(209words)这是一篇好作文,好在哪里?在高中阶段,作文是好述是不好,评判标准是这篇文章在考试中是否能拿高分。在高考中,作文是否能获得高分,主要看两方面:一是语言,二是内容。一、首先,我们看看这篇作文在语言表达方面的情况:1、句子无错误通观整篇文章,句子没有错误,或者说评卷老师在几十秒内很难找出错误。避免语法和拼写的低级错误,避免被扣印彖分,是学生在写作文时要做的首要事情。语言表达无错误是作文拿高分的前提,是好文章的基本标准。2、使用了较多的复合句这篇文章用了12个从句,从
6、而构成了大量的复合句:(1)Asweallknow,"nopains,nogainsvisaninfluentialproverbstressingtheimportanceofhardworking.(2)Ittellsusthatonlybyworkinghardcanweachieveourgoals.(3)•••theonewhoislazywillnevergainthethingshewants.(4)---fewofusknowhowmuchtimeandenergyhehasspentinpractisin
7、g・(5)Hestartedplayingthepianowhenhewasonly5yearsold.(6)Henevergaveuppractisingeventhoughhemetdifficulties.(7)WhenotherchildrenatthesameagewereplayinggamesoutsideorwatchingTV,hewasplayingthepiano…(8)Finally,hebecameworld-famouswhenhewonthechampioninChopinInternatio
8、nalPianoCompetition,whichisoneofthebost-knownpianocompelitionsintheworld.(9)LiYundiwouldneverbecomesosuccessfulifhedidn"tpractisesohard.(10)Andwewouldtg