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1、ABurlesqueAutobiographybyMarkTwainCONTENTOURFAMILYTREE............................................................................3AWFUL,TERRIBLEMEDIEVALROMANCE...............................12CHAPTERITHESECRETREVEALED..................................12C
2、HAPTERIIFESTIVITYANDTEARS....................................17CHAPTERIIITHEPLOTTHICKENS......................................18CHAPTERIVTHEAWFULREVELATION.............................22CHAPTERVTHEFRIGHTFULCATASTROPHE...................23★ABurlesqueAutobi
3、ography★TwoorthreepersonshavingatdifferenttimesintimatedthatifIwouldwriteanautobiographytheywouldreadit,whentheygotleisure,Iyieldatlasttothisfrenziedpublicdemand,andherewithtendermyhistory:Oursisanobleoldhouse,andstretchesalongwaybackintoantiquity.Theearl
4、iestancestortheTwainshaveanyrecordofwasafriendofthefamilybythenameofHiggins.Thiswasintheeleventhcentury,whenourpeoplewerelivinginAberdeen,countyofCork,England.Whyitisthatourlonglinehaseversincebornethematernalname(exceptwhenoneofthemnowandthentookaplayful
5、refugeinanaliastoavertfoolishness),insteadofHiggins,isamysterywhichnoneofushaseverfeltmuchdesiretostir.Itisakindofvague,prettyromance,andweleaveitalone.Alltheoldfamiliesdothatway.ArthourTwainwasamanofconsiderablenoteasolicitoronthehighwayinWilliamRufus'ti
6、me.AtabouttheageofthirtyhewenttooneofthosefineoldEnglishplacesPage1★ABurlesqueAutobiography★ofresortcalledNewgate,toseeaboutsomething,andneverreturnedagain.Whiletherehediedsuddenly.AugustusTwain,seemstohavemadesomethingofastirabouttheyear1160.Hewasasfullo
7、ffunashecouldbe,andusedtotakehisoldsabreandsharpenitup,andgetinaconvenientplaceonadarknight,andstickitthroughpeopleastheywentby,toseethemjump.Hewasabornhumorist.Buthegottogoingtoofarwithit;andthefirsttimehewasfoundstrippingoneoftheseparties,theauthorities
8、removedoneendofhim,andputituponanicehighplaceonTempleBar,whereitcouldcontemplatethepeopleandhaveagoodtime.Heneverlikedanysituationsomuchorstucktoitsolong.Thenforthenexttwohundredyearsthefamilytreeshowsasuccessionofs
