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1、StephenClarkeMerdeActuallySequeltoAYearintheMerde'Everythingisforthebestinthebestofallpossibleworlds.'Voltaire,Candide'Hellisotherpeople.'Sartre,NoExit'I'llhavesomeofthatVoltaire,please.'PaulWest,MerdeActuallyACKNOWLEDGEMENTSTheauthorwouldliketothankeveryonewhocontributedinany
2、way-deliberatelyoraccidentally-tothesuccessofthewholeMerdeadventure,andespeciallythosewhothreatenedphysicalviolenceiftheydidn'tgetthanked.Thosepeopleare,innoparticularorderofviolence:E,L,S,SL,K,K,M,C,LF,SW,AB,CW,EC,B,NH,NB,PF,DL,MTL,VC,BG,IA,AS,ER,LR,CD,JL&V,JR&J,IM,BS,CW,LG,S
3、R,G,M,P,C&P,Y,SM,CD,MB,JR,JS,AZ,S,V,V,F,C,BP,JR,SC,AB,BE,EB,SF,LB,NL,DC,MD,AP,A,EV,J-P,LM,GC,DT.IfI'veleftyouout,I'mreallysorry.GetintouchandI'llsendyouabookandagrovellingapology.1SexeandtheCountry1FlorenceandIweresittingfortykilometressouthofLimoges,inCorrèze,almostexactlyint
4、hecentreofFrance.IfyoustakedamanoutDaVinci-styleonamapofthecountry,withhisrighthandinBrittany,hisleftinStrasbourg,andhisfeetinBiarritzandMonaco,thenCorrèzewouldbethesmallpatchwherehe'dwethimself.Florence'smumhadacountryhouseinCorrèze.We'dplannedtostopoffthereforaquicklunchandt
5、hendriveonforatwo-weekamblearoundsouth-westFrance.Butthingshadn'tgoneexactlytoplan,andweweresittinginthesunbesidearecentlydentedcar.Itwasaftertenminutesofwaitingforthepoliceoratow-trucktoarrivethatFlorencelaidherheadonmylapandutteredthefatefulwords.'Isupposewe'llhavetospendafe
6、wdayswithMaman.'Ofcourse,shedidn'tknowthenthatIwasgoingtotryandkillhermother.NeitherdidI.We'donlybeentogetherforabouttwomonths,andifanyonehadaskedmyopinion,I'dhavesaidthatIdidn'tthinkattemptingtomurderyournewgirlfriend'smumwasagoodbasisforasuccessfulrelationship.Itwasn'treally
7、myfault,anyway.IblameitontheFrenchdriver.'Connasse!'heshouted.Frenchinsultsaresowonderfullygrammatical,Ithought.Evenintheheatofaverbalbattleyouhavetoremembertochangetherudewordforamaleidiot,'connard',tothefeminineform.Buthewasbeingtotallyunfair.Iwastheonewho'dbeendriving,notFl
8、orence.HewasonlyshoutingatherbecauseshewasnearertohimthanIwas
