孩子,我该如何与你“谈生论死”?

孩子,我该如何与你“谈生论死”?

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时间:2018-11-16

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1、孩子,我该如何与你“谈生论死”?  ParentingMistake#529:Ipromisedmyfive-yearolddaughter,Sonya,thatwecouldvisitGrandmaJoanieandGrandpaRoger“soon.”  Thiswasimpossible.MyparentsdiedbeforeSonyawasborn.ButIdidn’tknowhowtotackle[处理]thewhathappens-after-we-dietalk,sowheneverthesubjectofmyparent

2、scameup,Ihadtriedtodivert[转移]herattentionorsayvague[含糊的]thingslike,“They’reveryfaraway.”  I’mnotproudofwaitingfiveyearstotalkabouttheGreatBeyond注1.AndI’mnotsurewhatmademestepoverthethreshold[门槛]intoBlatant[公然的]Lie-ville[地域].Idon’tknowwhathappensafterdeathandIdon’tthinkwe

3、’resupposedtoknow,butIwasscaredoftellingmykidthat.MyauntdiedwhenIwas10,followedbymydadwhenIwas11,andmystepdad[继父]whenIwas16.Iremembermymomtryingtoexplaindeathtome,usingwordslike“peaceful”and“arelief[解脱],”whichmademeonlymoreconfused.  IknewSonyawastoodetail-oriented[注重细节的

4、]toacceptvaguedescriptions[描述].ButifImadeupsomehugepajama[睡衣]8partyintheskyoralandofeternal[永恒的]icecreamandfairies,thatwouldn’tflyeither.  SothenextSaturdaymorning,whileSonyawastracing[描摹]heartswithhernewmarkers,wehadthisconversation:  “Hey,rememberwhenIsaidwecouldgovisi

5、tGrandmaJoanieandGrandpaRoger?”  “Yeah.”  “Well,Iwaswrong.Weactuallycan’t.Becausetheydiedalongtimeago.”  Sonyalaughedandsaid,“Notheydidn’t!”  “Yes,theydid,”Icontinued.“Andafterwardstheybecameinvisible[看不见的],butwecanthinkofthemandlookattheirpictures.Somepeoplesayit’sfunaf

6、terwedieandsomepeoplesayit’squiet.”  “Ifyouhaveanyquestions,oryouwanttotalkaboutit,wecandothatanytime,”MyhusbandJayadded.  Sonyashrugged[耸肩]andwentbacktoherartwork.JayandIstoodupslowly.Weweren’tsurethemessagehadgottenthrough;shedidn’tlookupsetsomuchasbored.Butwehigh-five

7、d[举手击掌]overherheadanyway.Crisis[危机]averted[避免].  Untilpi?ata注2time.8  Latelastfall,ather40thbirthdayparty,mybestfriend,Shoshana,climbeduponarockinherbackyardandexplainedtherulesofpi?atatoallofourkids.Shoshanahadbeengivenadiagnosis[诊断]ofStagefourcancer.Ihadwatchedherdefy[

8、藐视]allthedoctorsandprognoses[预测]andevendanceintotheO.R.注3forspinal[脊柱的]surgery[手术].Butwatchingherteeter

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