英语搞笑短剧剧本.pdf

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1、..三打白骨精ThreeTimes’BeatingMonster人物：T唐僧S：孙悟空E：猪八戒J：沙僧B：白骨精（何平）B1：B变成的村姑B2：B变成的太婆B3：B变化成的老头T:Emitofo,doyouknowwherewearenow?S:Bajie,map!E:(摸出，递给S)S:Look,boss(凑近T)⋯⋯⋯（T、S一齐转向E）T:Bajie!HowManytimesIhavetoldyou,don’tbringthesepicturesofbeautifulgirls!E:Oh,boss!Forgiveme(伸手拿回)T:(缩手)I’llkee

2、pitforyouuntilwereachthewestE:But⋯⋯T:Emitofo,nothingislust,lustisnothing!Map?E:(递)Here.Em⋯⋯wehavearrivedinWhiteTigerMountain!AhIcanonanymore!(坐)Mystomachdoesn’tallowSo.S:FatPig!E:Monkey,ifyoudaretosaythesetwowordsonceagain,Iwill,IwillS:Youwillwhat(凶相)?E:(软禁)Iwillhelpyoucatchfleas(跳蚤)

3、.S:Hm!;....T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,IamabithungryCouldyougotogetmesomefood?E:Yousee,bossishungry,too!T:Baijie!Don’tforgetwhoatemylastmeal!J:Butboss,ifamonstercomeswhilebrothermonkeyisaway⋯..T:Em⋯⋯.Itisaproblem.Wukong,doyouhaveanyidea?S:Noproblem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）J:Thisis⋯..?S:Electricnet!

4、Ihavelearnttheenergyofelectricityfromboss’sbooks.SoImadethis.Nomonstercanapproachyouifyoustayinit!T:Em⋯⋯Wukong,youarebecomingmoreandmorescientific!Emitofo,knowledgeispower!S:Bye!(走)T:Let’splaycards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《斗地主》B:Hm!Hm!Electricnet?Youaretoochildish.(变成B1)B1:(接近三人，望着)CanIjoinyou?J:I

5、’msorry,lady.WeareplayingFightingAgainstlandownerandthreepeopleareenough.B1:(在一旁观看)Oh,Chance!Bomb!T:Bomb?(打出)B1:DoubleKing!T:Oh⋯.Iwin!Em⋯⋯ouareaboss-hand.Comeinandteachme!(,Lady,y准备;....开电网门)S:(回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)B1:（倒)Ah⋯⋯T:(气愤)Wukong!Lookwhathavedone!Sheismyteacher!S:Sheisamo

6、nster!T:Nonsense!(深呼吸)S:Oh,pleasedon’t⋯⋯T:It’stoolate!(唱)Oncemore⋯⋯youopenthedoor泰坦尼克主题曲，走音⋯(离谱)S:Please,Please,oh,no痛苦抱头⋯⋯()T:(呛住，咳)Wukong,I’mdisappointedwithyou!B:(真身出现)Hm!SunWukong,I’llteachyoualesson!(变成太婆)B2:Hello,haveyouseenmydaughter?T:Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是

7、什么，T挡)S:（咬牙切齿）Youmonster,Ibeatyouintohell!(S’ll追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)E&J:AreyouOk,boss?(扶T)J:Look,(伸食指)howmany?T:Two⋯晕乎乎地..()SunWukong,gameover!(变成B3)B3:(看到B1,B2尸体)Oh⋯.,mydaughter,mywife!Whodidit?!!(哭喊)S:I’llkillyou,monster!(打)T:（想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住)Youhavekilled

8、threelives!;