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1、9780738213163-text:5.5x8.2510/13/092:10PMPage91FirstComesLove,ThenComesALittleBitMarriedh‚jWhytheLong-TermRelationshipHasBecometheNewRomanticRiteofPassageDatingisnotwhatitwasfiftyyearsago.Datingisevolvingintothisgradualprocessofmovingin.Itinvolvesnightsspentoveratoneortheother’splace.There’sthetooth
2、brush,thenafewitemsofclothing.Allofasudden,theyrealizethey’vemovedin.—PamelaSmock,UniversityofMichiganInstituteforSocialResearchSo,catchmeup.Whatsgoingonwithschool?Yourlovelife?IaskedmyfriendSaraatourmonthlygirlsnightin.Schoolisfine,shesaid,glossingoverthede-tailstogettowhatshereallywantedtotalkabou
3、t:herrela-tionship.ButIminastalematewithAdam,sheconfided.Herboyfriendofoverayearhadjustdroppedthebombthathewasntsureifhewasreadytogetmarried.Shetoldus,Hesaysheiswaitingforsomesignthatthisisright.Imtwenty-fiveandheistwenty-seven,shouldntwebemovingtoward•9•9780738213163-text:5.5x8.2510/13/092:10PMPage1
4、010‚ALittleBitMarriedmarriage?AndnowdoIjustwaitaroundforhimtobeready?Mytimeisvaluable.Right,inothercenturieswomengavetheirvirginity,nowtheequivalentisourtime.Theroomfellsilentaseveryonechanneledsomeversionoftheirowncur-rentorpastAdamsituation.Mygrandparentswentonfivedatesoveraten-monthperiodbeforemy
5、grandfatherproposed.Theywerehappilymarriedforforty-sevenyears.Nowadays,fivedatesisthepointwhenyouvefriendedeachotheronFacebookandareinthemidstofaseriesofcoye-mailandtext-messageexchanges.Theerainwhichmygrandparentscourtedwasdefinedbyacompressedtimeframeeverythinghappenedveryfast.Itstheoppositetoday;t
6、hecourtshipanddatingritualshavebeenelongated.Inanothernot-so-distanttime,toevensleepinthesamebedletalonelivetogetherasacouplewasconsideredanunspokenagreementtogetmarried.Buttoday,asEvan,twenty-nine,whohasbeendatinghisgirlfriendforsixyears,putsit,Youcanstartyourlifewithoutagoldbandonyourfin-ger.Marri
7、ageisnolongerthebigbangitwasforearliergener-ations.Thereisnowahugestopgapbetweendatingandmarriageitsaplacewhereyoungmenandwomenareforminglong-termrelationshipsthathavemanysimilaritiestomarriage,yetarentquit
