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1、NEVERLETMEGOKAZUOISHIGURO2005TOLORNAANDNAOMIEngland,late1990sPARTONECHAPTERONEMynameisKathyH.I’mthirty-oneyearsold,andI’vebeenacarernowforoverelevenyears.Thatsoundslongenough,Iknow,butactuallytheywantmetogoonforanothereightmonths,untiltheendofthisyear.That’llmakeitalmostexactlytwelveyears.Now
2、Iknowmybeingacarersolongisn’tnecessarilybecausetheythinkI’mfantasticatwhatIdo.Therearesomereallygoodcarerswho’vebeentoldtostopafterjusttwoorthreeyears.AndIcanthinkofonecareratleastwhowentonforalloffourteenyearsdespitebeingacompletewasteofspace.SoI’mnottryingtoboast.ButthenIdoknowforafactthey’
3、vebeenpleasedwithmywork,andbyandlarge,Ihavetoo.Mydonorshavealwaystendedtodomuchbetterthanexpected.Theirrecoverytimeshavebeenimpressive,andhardlyanyofthemhavebeenclassifiedas“agitated,”evenbeforefourthdonation.Okay,maybeIamboastingnow.Butitmeansalottome,beingabletodomyworkwell,especiallythatbi
4、taboutmydonorsstaying“calm.”I’vedevelopedakindofinstinctarounddonors.Iknowwhentohangaroundandcomfortthem,whentoleavethemtothemselves;whentolistentoeverythingtheyhavetosay,andwhenjusttoshrugandtellthemtosnapoutofit.Anyway,I’mnotmakinganybigclaimsformyself.Iknowcarers,workingnow,whoarejustasgoo
5、danddon’tgethalfthecredit.Ifyou’reoneofthem,Icanunderstandhowyoumightgetresentful—aboutmybedsit,mycar,aboveall,thewayIgettopickandchoosewhoIlookafter.AndI’maHailshamstudent—whichisenoughbyitselfsometimestogetpeople’sbacksup.KathyH.,theysay,shegetstopickandchoose,andshealwayschoosesherownkind:
6、peoplefromHailsham,oroneoftheotherprivilegedestates.Nowondershehasagreatrecord.I’vehearditsaidenough,soI’msureyou’vehearditplentymore,andmaybethere’ssomethinginit.ButI’mnotthefirsttobeallowedtopickandchoose,andIdoubtifI’llbethelast.Andanyway,I’vedonemyshareoflookingafterdonorsbroughtupinevery
7、kindofplace.BythetimeIfinish,remember,I’llhavedonetwelveyearsofthis,andit’sonlyforthelastsixthey’veletmechoose.Andwhyshouldn’tthey?Carersaren’tmachines.Youtryanddoyourbestforeverydonor,butintheend,itwearsyoudown.Youdon’thaveunlimitedpatiencea