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1、WritingActivity,Chapter5Thedraftbodyparagraphbelowneedsrevision.EssayThesis:PlayingWiiFitgamesisafunandeffectivemeansofimprovingphysicalactivity,socialization,andproblem-solvingskills.BodyParagraph:ThenewWiiFitgamesaresomeofthemostpopularvideogamesavailabletoday.Ilovethem!Theyencoura
2、gephysicalactivity.Theyaren’tastediousassomemoreformalexerciseprograms.Playersmustmovethecontrollers,inordertomovetheiron-screencharacters.Playersusewithfullarmandbodymovementstooperatethecontrollersandmovetheiron-screencharacters.Themovementsrequiredtosimulatebowlingortennis,forexam
3、ple,closelymatchthemovementsinvolvedinthesereal-lifeactivities.Youdon’tactuallyhavetobeabowlerortennisplayertoplaytheseWiigames.Wiigameplayisacoolwaytostayfitorevenloseweight,throughsustainedphysicalactivity.Youcouldplaythesegamesroundtheclock,andhardlynoticethetimepassing.Playerscan
4、toneandbuildarmmuscles,increasetheirheartrate,improvetheirbalanceandcoordination,andhavefuntoo!YOURTASKSPart1Reviewtheparagraphandrateeachofthefollowing:Foreach,ratetheparagraphasgood,acceptable,orweak,andthenexplainyourrating.Structure:i.Topicsentenceshouldbecloselylinkedtothesisand
5、tooverallparagraphcontentGood,Acceptable,orWeak;Comments:ii.Supportingpointsshouldbelogicallyordered,easytofollowGood,Acceptable,orWeak;Comments:iii.TransitionalwordsshouldhelplinkideasandimproveflowGood,Acceptable,orWeak;Comments:iv.Sentencestructuresshouldbevaried(somelong,someshor
6、t)Good,Acceptable,orWeak;Comments:Content:v.Allpointsshoulddirectlysupporttheparagraphtopic;anydistractingorunnecessarydetailsshouldbedeleted.Good,Acceptable,orWeak;Comments:vi.Examplesshouldclearlysupporttheparagraphtopic.Paragraphshouldincludeenoughexamplestoadequatelyexplainorclar
7、ifytheparagraph.Good,Acceptable,orWeak;Comments:Languagevii.Mostacademicessaysrequiretheuseofformallanguage(nofirst[“I”]orsecond[“you”]person,nocontractions,noslang,moreformaldiction;checkyourinstructor’spreferences–whetherFormalorStandard).Reviewessayforappropriatelevelofformality.G
8、ood,Acceptab
