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1、Unit1Onourfirst"date"afterourtwindaughterswereborn,myhusbandandIwenttoseethemovieToyStory.Weenjoyedit,butafterwardmyhusbandasked,"Wherewasthedad?"Atfirst,itseemedpettytocriticizeanentertainingfamilymoviebecauseofonesmallpoint.ThemoreIthoughtaboutit,however,t
2、hemoreglaringanomissionitseemed.Notonlywasdadnotaround,hewasn'tevenmentioned—despitethefactthattherewasababyinthefamily,sodadcouldn'thavebeenthatlonggone.Itwasasifthepresence—orabsence—ofafatherisaminordetail,notevenrequiringanexplanation.Thisisonlyoneexampl
3、eofthemediatrendtowardmarginalizingfathers,whichmirrorsenormoussocialchangesintheUnitedStates.DavidBlankenhorn,inhisbookFatherlessAmerica,referstothistrendasthe"unnecessaryfather"concept.Wearebombardedbystoriesaboutthestrugglesofworkingmothers(asopposedtonon
4、-workingmothers,Isuppose).Meanwhile,ahighproportionofmediastoriesaboutfathersfocusonabusivehusbandsordeadbeatdads.Itseemsthattheonlytimefathersmeritattentioniswhentheyarecriticizedfornothelpingenoughwiththehousework(aclaimthatIfinddubiousanyway,becausethedef
5、initionof"housework"rarelyincludescleaningthegutters,changingtheoilinthecarorotherjobstypicallydonebymen)orwhentheydie.WhenMr.Blankenhornsurveyedfathersaboutthemeaningoftheterm"goodfamilyman,"manyrespondedthatitwasaphrasetheyonlyheardatfunerals.Oneexceptiont
6、othe"unnecessaryfather"syndromeistheglowingmediaattentionthatat-homedadshavereceived.Idonotmeantoimplythatat-homedadsdonotdeservesupportformakingthiscommitment.Ionlymeantopointoutthedoublestandardatworkwhenat-homedadsareapplaudedwhileat-homemothersandbreadwi
7、nnerfathersaregivenlittle,ifany,culturalrecognition.Theverylanguageweusetodiscussmen'sroles(i.e.,deadbeatdads)showsalackofappreciationforthemajorityofmenwhoquietlyyetproudlyfulfilltheirfamilyresponsibilities.Wealmostneverheartheterm"workingfather,"anditisrar
8、ethatcallsformoreworkplaceflexibilityareconsideredtobeformenasmuchasforwomen.Oursocietyactsasiffamilyobligationsarenotasimportanttofathersastheyaretomothers—asifcareersatisfactioniswhataman'slif