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1、Unit1Onourfirst"date"afterourtwindaughterswereborn,myhusbandandIwenttoseethemovieToyStory.Weenjoyedit,butafterwardmyhusbandasked,"Wherewasthedad?"Atfirst,itseemedpettytocriticizeanentertainingfamilymoviebecauseofonesmallpoint.ThemoreIthoughtaboutit,however,themoreglari
2、nganomissionitseemed.Notonlywasdadnotaround,hewasn'tevenmentioned—despitethefactthattherewasababyinthefamily,sodadcouldn'thavebeenthatlonggone.Itwasasifthepresence—orabsence—ofafatherisaminordetail,notevenrequiringanexplanation.Thisisonlyoneexampleofthemediatrendtoward
3、marginalizingfathers,whichmirrorsenormoussocialchangesintheUnitedStates.DavidBlankenhorn,inhisbookFatherlessAmerica,referstothistrendasthe"unnecessaryfather"concept.Wearebombardedbystoriesaboutthestrugglesofworkingmothers(asopposedtonon-workingmothers,Isuppose).Meanwhi
4、le,ahighproportionofmediastoriesaboutfathersfocusonabusivehusbandsordeadbeatdads.Itseemsthattheonlytimefathersmeritattentioniswhentheyarecriticizedfornothelpingenoughwiththehousework(aclaimthatIfinddubiousanyway,becausethedefinitionof"housework"rarelyincludescleaningth
5、egutters,changingtheoilinthecarorotherjobstypicallydonebymen)orwhentheydie.WhenMr.Blankenhornsurveyedfathersaboutthemeaningoftheterm"goodfamilyman,"manyrespondedthatitwasaphrasetheyonlyheardatfunerals.Oneexceptiontothe"unnecessaryfather"syndromeistheglowingmediaattenti
6、onthatat-homedadshavereceived.Idonotmeantoimplythatat-homedadsdonotdeservesupportformakingthiscommitment.Ionlymeantopointoutthedoublestandardatworkwhenat-homedadsareapplaudedwhileat-homemothersandbreadwinnerfathersaregivenlittle,ifany,culturalrecognition.Theverylanguag
7、eweusetodiscussmen'sroles(i.e.,deadbeatdads)showsalackofappreciationforthemajorityofmenwhoquietlyyetproudlyfulfilltheirfamilyresponsibilities.Wealmostneverheartheterm"workingfather,"anditisrarethatcallsformoreworkplaceflexibilityareconsideredtobeformenasmuchasforwomen.
8、Oursocietyactsasiffamilyobligationsarenotasimportanttofathersastheyaretomothers—asifcareersatisfactioniswhataman'slif
