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1、Friendsor'Enemies?'WhenIwasyounger,myDadusedtotellme:"Boysdon'twanttobeyourfriend."Hethenlefttheresttomyimagination.Atthetime,Ididn'tagree.Ithought:Icancrackagoodjoke,Iknowhowtoshootahoop,andI'macheerfulperson(butnotinanannoyingway).Whatkindofboywouldn'twantto
2、bearoundthatkindofgirl?Turnsout,myDadwasright.Nottobeall"SamanthaBrick"aboutit,butinmyexperience,single,heterosexualmenaren'tactivelylookingforanexclusivelyplatonicrelationshipwithawomantheyfindsexuallyattractive.Thisofcourseisnotarevolutionaryconcept.Infact,i
3、tseemsprettynaturaltome.Now,Iwillbethefirsttosaythatitisreallyandtrulythemostwonderfulthingintheworldiftheattractionismutual.ButthePowersThatBeseemtoliketoplaythesecomplicatedlittlematinggameswithhumanswheretheguywewanttore-enactscenesfrom9½Weekswithseesouratt
4、ractivenesslevelasakintothatofadiscardeddishcloth,andthemostphysicalwecouldseeourselvesbeingwiththeguywhoactuallylikesusisagameofpingpongoveranespeciallylongtable.Allofwhichmeansthatsomeoneusuallyendsupgettingrejected.I'msureI'mnotalonewhenIsayIhavestruggledwi
5、ththescenariowhereIamnotinterestedinamanromantically,butIwanttokeephimasafriendbecauseheisfunnyandIenjoyhiscompany,orhehasshownhimselftobethatrarespecimenknownas"anice,genuineperson,"orhesimplydoesn'tmentionhistherapistineveryothersentence.Ratherthanstringhima
6、longandgivehimhope,Ifeelcompelledtosomehowcommunicatetohimsoonerratherthanlaterthatwe'lljustbestayingfriends,nothingmore.Otherwise,IthinkIambeingunfairtohim.Whyshouldhewastehisromanticstaminaonmewhenthereareloadsofothersinglewomenouttherewhomightfallinstantlyi
7、nlovewithhim?Thethingis,itcansometimesbetrickytorejectamanandkeephimasafriend.Iftheoperationisnotexecutedcarefully,youmayendupcreatinga"menemy."Itrequiresacertainamountofskilltobeabletoturndownaman'ssexualadvancesorromanticgesturesandthengethimtoagreetomeetyou
8、forblueberrypancakesthefollowingweekendandchataboutthelatestWoodyAllenfilm.Somemenaren'tsatisfiedwithjustthat.I'mnotclearwhy.What'ssobadaboutfriendship?Everyoneneedsbuddies.ButI've
