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1、Friendsor'Enemies?'WhenIwasyounger,myDadusedtotellme:"Boysdon'twanttobeyourfriend."Hethenlefttheresttomyimagination.Atthetime,Ididn'tagree.Ithought:Icancrackagoodjoke,Iknowhowtoshootahoop,andI'macheerfulperson(butnotinanannoyingway).Whatkindofboywouldn'twanttobearoundtha
2、tkindofgirl?Turnsout,myDadwasright.Nottobeall"SamanthaBrick"aboutit,butinmyexperience,single,heterosexualmenaren'tactivelylookingforanexclusivelyplatonicrelationshipwithawomantheyfindsexuallyattractive.Thisofcourseisnotarevolutionaryconcept.Infact,itseemsprettynaturaltom
3、e.Now,Iwillbethefirsttosaythatitisreallyandtrulythemostwonderfulthingintheworldiftheattractionismutual.ButthePowersThatBeseemtoliketoplaythesecomplicatedlittlematinggameswithhumanswheretheguywewanttore-enactscenesfrom9½Weekswithseesourattractivenesslevelasakintothatofadi
4、scardeddishcloth,andthemostphysicalwecouldseeourselvesbeingwiththeguywhoactuallylikesusisagameofpingpongoveranespeciallylongtable.Allofwhichmeansthatsomeoneusuallyendsupgettingrejected.I'msureI'mnotalonewhenIsayIhavestruggledwiththescenariowhereIamnotinterestedinamanroma
5、ntically,butIwanttokeephimasafriendbecauseheisfunnyandIenjoyhiscompany,orhehasshownhimselftobethatrarespecimenknownas"anice,genuineperson,"orhesimplydoesn'tmentionhistherapistineveryothersentence.Ratherthanstringhimalongandgivehimhope,Ifeelcompelledtosomehowcommunicateto
6、himsoonerratherthanlaterthatwe'lljustbestayingfriends,nothingmore.Otherwise,IthinkIambeingunfairtohim.Whyshouldhewastehisromanticstaminaonmewhenthereareloadsofothersinglewomenouttherewhomightfallinstantlyinlovewithhim?Thethingis,itcansometimesbetrickytorejectamanandkeeph
7、imasafriend.Iftheoperationisnotexecutedcarefully,youmayendupcreatinga"menemy."Itrequiresacertainamountofskilltobeabletoturndownaman'ssexualadvancesorromanticgesturesandthengethimtoagreetomeetyouforblueberrypancakesthefollowingweekendandchataboutthelatestWoodyAllenfilm.So
8、memenaren'tsatisfiedwithjustthat.I'mnotclearwhy.What'ssobadaboutfriendship?Everyoneneedsbuddies.ButI've
