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1、TheMcWilliamsesAndTheBurglarAlarmby MarkTwainTheconversationdriftedsmoothlyandpleasantlyalongfromweathertocrops,fromcropstoliterature,fromliteraturetoscandal,fromscandaltoreligion;thentookarandomjump,andlandedonthesubjectofburglaralarms.AndnowforthefirsttimeMr.McWilliamsshowedfeeling.WheneverIpercei
2、vethissignonthisman'sdial,Icomprehendit,andlapseintosilence,andgivehimopportunitytounloadhisheart.Saidhe,withbutill-controlledemotion:"Idonotgoonesinglecentonburglaralarms,Mr.Twain--notasinglecent--andIwilltellyouwhy.Whenwewerefinishingourhouse,wefoundwehadalittlecashleftover,onaccountoftheplumberno
3、tknowingit.Iwasforenlighteningtheheathenwithit,forIwasalwaysunaccountablydownontheheathensomehow;butMrs.McWilliamssaidno,let'shaveaburglaralarm.Iagreedtothiscompromise.IwillexplainthatwheneverIwantathing,andMrs.McWilliamswantsanotherthing,andwedecideuponthethingthatMrs.McWilliamswants--aswealwaysdo-
4、-shecallsthatacompromise.Verywell:themancameupfromNewYorkandputinthealarm,andchargedthreehundredandtwenty-fivedollarsforit,andsaidwecouldsleepwithoutuneasinessnow.Sowedidforawhile--sayamonth.Thenonenightwesmelledsmoke,andIwasadvisedtogetupandseewhatthematterwas.Ilitacandle,andstartedtowardthestairs,
5、andmetaburglarcomingoutofaroomwithabasketoftinware,whichhehadmistakenforsolidsilverinthedark.Hewassmokingapipe.Isaid,'Myfriend,wedonotallowsmokinginthisroom.'Hesaidhewasastranger,andcouldnotbeexpectedtoknowtherulesofthehouse:saidhehadbeeninmanyhousesjustasgoodasthisone,andithadneverbeenobjectedtobef
6、ore.Headdedthatasfarashisexperiencewent,suchruleshadneverbeenconsideredtoapplytoburglars,anyway."Isaid:'Smokealong,then,ifitisthecustom,thoughIthinkthattheconcedingofaprivilegetoaburglarwhichisdeniedtoabishopisaconspicuoussignoftheloosenessofthetimes.Butwaivingallthat,whatbusinesshaveyoutobeentering
7、thishouseinthisfurtiveandclandestineway,withoutringingtheburglaralarm?'"Helookedconfusedandashamed,andsaid,withembarrassment:'Ibegathousandpardons.Ididnotknowyouhadaburglaralarm,elseIwouldhaverungit.I
