叙事经历类书面表达.ppt

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1、叙事记叙文总体分析情景设定：主人公日记，新闻稿件题目设定：图画式情景作文提纲式应试技巧记叙六要素：时间，人物，地点，起因，经过，结果两确定确定时态（过去式）；确定人称要点全，有侧重情节侧重发展高潮，避免流水账，行文一致性（逻辑一致）记叙要与议论/评论或感想前后呼应不要一味用长难关联词，流于表面。时间过度——天然过渡法宝时间点：at7’oclock,onMayday..时间段:atdusk,fromdawntilldusk,inthecourseof,forawhile,forthetimebeing,nowandthen,lately时间顺序:

2、onarrival,later,soon,next,then,afterwards,finally,eventually,intheend,meanwhile,until,since,nosooner…than,bedoing…when过渡衔接空间过渡eg:atthefootofthemountain,halfwayupthemountain,atthepeakofthemountain因果过渡主人公进行某些行为的原因，及动作所产出的结果，找出图片间的隐性信息，无缝对接。语言精准，句式多样时态，主谓记心头重视单词拼写避免词性混乱关注动词用法，尝

3、试造句练习变换句子开头，有意识地运用非谓语，介词短语，副词，从句，等作为句子开头。09浙江:志愿者LiYue,ZhangHua去SunshineNursingHome敬老院开展志愿者活动(送水果，打扫，聊天等)。写篇新闻报道要点：1时间，地点，人物，活动2老人的反应3简短评论LiYueandZhangHuaareourschool’svolunteers.OnJune1st,theywenttotheSunshineNursingHome.Theycleanedthehouse.Theyplayedthegameswiththeoldmen.

4、Then,theysentsomeapplestotheoldpeople.Theyareveryfriendly,andtheygotwellwitheachother.Theoldpeopleareveryhappy.LiYueandZhangHuacommunicatedthethingswiththeoldpeople.Theoldpeoplehopedthemworkhard.Atlast,theysaidgood-byetotheoldpeople.LiYueandZhangHuaarebothgoodstudentsinoursc

5、hool.Weshouldrememberthem.Weshouldtakegoodcareoftheoldpeopleinourfamily.点评：漏掉了一个信息；基本满足任务的要求，但语法结构不够丰富，13个句子都是简单句。非谓语，复合句没有体现，全篇单调乏味，时态失误，句型结构有误。上下文句与句之间连接词不到位，语流存在断裂，结构不紧凑，缺乏流畅感。基本达到写作目的第三档。（13-18）范文OnMay1st,LiYueandZhangHua,twostudentsfromClass3,Grade2,reachedtheSunshineNu

6、rsingHometoworkasvolunteers.Theypresentedtheelderlywithfreshfruitstowishthemahealthylife.Besides,theyhelpedcleanthehousesandhadnicetalkwiththeelderlyinordertoeasetheirlonelinessandanxiety.包含所有要点，动词运用得当，多处使用不定式作状语Alltheelderlyfoundthatitwasencouragingtoseetheyounglives,whomad

7、ethemfeelmoreenergetic.Whencaredabout,theelderlyrealizedthattheirboringliveswerefilledwithsunshineagain.形式主语结构，tosee…做主语；定语从句；较多词组，好词。Frommypointofview,itisourdutytocarefortheelderly,whohavedevotedalottooursociety.Inaddition,respectingtheelderlyisalsoourtraditionalculture,wh

8、ichshouldbecarriedongenerationaftergeneration.结尾点评简要。两个定语从句扩展信息。第五档（25-30）例