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1、作文讲评白富美ASSESSMENTS(评价标准)Structure框架结构Isthearticledividedintoparts?Content内容要点Areallthedetailsstated?Areallthedetailstothepoint(切题)?Language语言表达Doesthewriteruseanylinkingwords?Arethereanymistakes?表达错误Isthereanyadvancedvocabularyorsentencepatterns(高级词汇和句式)?作文要求:简要陈述这类现象这种现象产生的危害你认为如何解决这一
2、问题近年来,一些食品公司为了谋取利润,不顾人们的身心健康,违法使用添加剂Structure:3paragraphsContentDetails:Phenomenon(谋取利润,不顾人们的身心健康,违法使用添加剂)3.Solutions2.Harmmakeprofits,regardlessof/ignore,usesth.illegally(twoormorepoints)ASSESSMENTS(评价标准)Structure框架结构Isthearticledividedintoparts?Content内容要点Areallthedetailsstated?Areal
3、lthedetailstothepoint(切题)?Language语言表达Doesthewriteruseanylinkingwords?Arethereanymistakes?表达错误Isthereanyadvancedvocabularyorsentencepatterns(高级词汇和句式)?Language:Properlinkingwords(恰当的连词)时间顺序first,second,then,finally,atlast,soon,immediately,suddenly……对称顺序foronething,fortheotherthing,onone
4、hand,ontheotherhand……转折顺序but,yet,however,while,though,otherwise,inreality,instead,nevertheless,afterall…...因果顺序because,since,as,for,thanksto,owingto,dueto,asaresult,……条件顺序aslongas,onconditionthat,if,unless,onlyif……让步顺序though,as,evenif/though,whether,wh-(what,when,where,how)+ever…….递进顺序
5、and,what’smore,besides,inaddition,furthermore,moreover,tomakethematterworse,what’sworse……过渡性插入语I’mafraid,youknow,Asweallknow,Asiswellknown,inaword,tosumup……Arethereanymistakes?1.Toachievegreatprofits,somecompaniesregardlessofpeople’shealth.2.Thisphenomonenleadtomoreandmorecompaniesuseh
6、armfulthingsinthefood.3.Manycompaniesproducefoodusevarietiesofchemicalsinordertoincreasetheirprofitsregardlessofconsumers’health.Notonlythedeadlyfooddoesharmtopeople’sphysicalhealthbutalsobreaksthetrustbetweenconsumersandbusinessmen.Thegovernmentshouldstrengththeirpowerofmonitorthemark
7、et.Somefoodcompaniesareinordertoearnmoreprofits,theyignoretheharmdotopeople’shealth.Advancedsentencepatterns:1.倒装句2.复合句(定语从句,名词性从句)3.强调句型4.It作形式主语,形式宾语的句型5.被动语态6.非谓语动词短语7.介词(如:with,on/upondoing…)8.固定句型(如,so…that…;Thereisnodoubtthat…)Let'shaveatry!Clauses(从句)1)Tohissurprise,peopletend