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1、DreamsDreamsbyJeromeK.Jerome1DreamsThemostextraordinarydreamIeverhadwasoneinwhichIfanciedthat,asIwasgoingintoatheater,thecloak-roomattendantstoppedmeinthelobbyandinsistedonmyleavingmylegsbehindme.Iwasnotsurprised;indeed,myacquaintanceshipwiththeaterharpieswouldpreventmyfeeli
2、nganysurpriseatsuchademand,eveninmywakingmoments;butIwas,Imusthonestlyconfess,considerablyannoyed.Itwasnotthepaymentofthecloak-roomfeethatIsomuchminded--Iofferedtogivethattothemanthenandthere.ItwasthepartingwithmylegsthatIobjectedto.IsaidIhadneverheardofsucharulebeingattempt
3、edtobeputinforceatanyrespectabletheaterbefore,andthatIconsidereditamostabsurdandvexatiousregulation.IalsosaidIshouldwritetoTheTimesaboutit.Themanrepliedthathewasverysorry,butthatthosewerehisinstructions.Peoplecomplainedthattheycouldnotgettoandfromtheirseatscomfortably,becaus
4、eotherpeople'slegswerealwaysintheway;andithad,therefore,beendecidedthat,infuture,everybodyshouldleavetheirlegsoutside.Itseemedtomethatthemanagement,inmakingthisorder,hadclearlygonebeyondtheirlegalright;and,underordinarycircumstances,Ishouldhavedisputedit.Beingpresent,however
5、,moreinthecharacterofaguestthaninthatofapatron,Ihardlyliketomakeadisturbance;andsoIsatdownandmeeklypreparedtocomplywiththedemand.Ihadneverbeforeknownthatthehumanlegdidunscrew.Ihadalwaysthoughtitwasafixture.Butthemanshowedmehowtoundothem,andIfoundthattheycameoffquiteeasily.Th
6、ediscoverydidnotsurprisemeanymorethantheoriginalrequestthatIshouldtakethemoffhaddone.Nothingdoessurpriseoneinadream.IdreamedoncethatIwasgoingtobehanged;butIwasnotatallsurprisedaboutit.Nobodywas.Myrelationscametoseemeoff,Ithought,andtowishme"Good-by!"Theyallcame,andwereallver
7、ypleasant;buttheywerenotintheleastastonished--notoneofthem.2DreamsEverybodyappearedtoregardthecomingtragedyasoneofthemost-naturally-to-be-expectedthingsintheworld.Theyborethecalamity,besides,withanamountofstoicismthatwouldhavedonecredittoaSpartanfather.Therewasnofuss,noscene
8、.Onthecontrary,anatmosphereofmildcheerfulnessprevailed.Yettheywereverykind.
