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1、AreAmericansanationoffrivolousdivorcerswhoselfishlypursuethebluebirdofhappiness,oblivioustotheirchildren'sneeds?DivorceopponentslikeJudithWallersteinseemtothinkmostparentsseedivorceasamarvelousopportunityforthewholefamily.Howimmaturedotheythinkpeopleare?AlloverAmerica,unhappyspousesliea
2、wakeatnightwonderingiftheyandtheirkidscanafforddivorcefinancially,socially,emotionally.Wherewilltheylive,howwilltheypaythebills,willthekidsfallapart,willtherebeacustodybattle,whatwilltheirfamiliessay?Theveryfactthatsomanypeopleleavetheirmarriageforafuturewithsomanypitfallsprovesthatdivo
3、rceisanythingbutawhim.MostpeopleIknowwhosplitup(nottomentionmyexandme)spentyearsworkinguptoit.Inhernewbook,Wallersteinarguesthatchildrendon'tcareiftheirparentsarehappy—theyjustwantthestabilityofatwoparenthousehold,withoutwhichtheywouldlaterflailthroughadulthoodandhaveahardtimeforminggoo
4、drelationships・Thisconclusion,likeherothergloomygeneralizations(Parentingerodesalmostinevitablyatthebreakupanddoesnotgetrestoredforyears,ifever),isbasedonasmall,nonrepresentativesampleoffamilieswhoweregoingthroughdivorcein1971inaffluentMarinCounty,Calif.Wallersteinlooksforevideneethatdi
5、vorceharmskids,andofcourseshefindsit—nowwellintotheirmid-30s,herintervieweesstillblametheirparents1breakupforeveryrockonthepathtofulfillment—buttheveryprocessofparticipatinginafamouson・goingstudyabouttheeffectsofdivorceencouragesthemtoseetheirlivesthroughthatlens.Whatifshehadspentasmuch
6、timestudyingchildrenwhoseparentshadterriblemarriagesbutstayedtogetherforthekids?Howmanychildrenofdivorcefeeloverlyresponsiblefortheirparents1happiness・Butwhatabouttheburdenofknowingthatoneorbothofyourparentsenduredyearsofmisery—foryou?Asamatteroffact,weknowtheanswertothatquestion.Thebab
7、yboomers,whohelpeddivorcebecomemainstream,weretheproductsofexactlythekindofmarriagestheanti-divorcersapproveof-thechild-centeredunionsofthe1950s,whenparents,especiallyMom,sacrificedthemselvesonthealtaroffamilyvaluesandsuburbanrespectability.Totoday*santi-divorcersthosemayseemli
