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1、AreAmericansanationoffrivolousdivorcerswhoselfishlypursuethebluebirdofhappiness,oblivioustotheirchildren'sneeds?DivorceopponentslikeJudithWallersteinseemtothinkmostparentsseedivorceasamarvelousopportunityforthewholefamily.Howimmaturedotheythinkpeopleare?AlloverAmerica,unhappyspouseslieawa
2、keatnightwonderingiftheyandtheirkidscanafforddivorcefinancially,socially,emotionally.Wherewilltheylive,howwilltheypaythebills,willthekidsfallapart,willtherebeacustodybattle,whatwilltheirfamiliessay?Theveryfactthatsomanypeopleleavetheirmarriageforafuturewithsomanypitfallsprovesthatdivorcei
3、sanythingbutawhim.MostpeopleIknowwhosplitup(nottomentionmyexandme)spentyearsworkinguptoit.Inhernewbook,Wallersteinarguesthatchildrendon'tcareiftheirparentsarehappy—theyjustwantthestabilityofatwoparenthousehold,withoutwhichtheywouldlaterflailthroughadulthoodandhaveahardtimeforminggoodrelat
4、ionships・Thisconclusion,likeherothergloomygeneralizations(Parentingerodesalmostinevitablyatthebreakupanddoesnotgetrestoredforyears,ifever),isbasedonasmall,nonrepresentativesampleoffamilieswhoweregoingthroughdivorcein1971inaffluentMarinCounty,Calif.Wallersteinlooksforevideneethatdivorcehar
5、mskids,andofcourseshefindsit—nowwellintotheirmid-30s,herintervieweesstillblametheirparents1breakupforeveryrockonthepathtofulfillment—buttheveryprocessofparticipatinginafamouson・goingstudyabouttheeffectsofdivorceencouragesthemtoseetheirlivesthroughthatlens.Whatifshehadspentasmuchtimestudyi
6、ngchildrenwhoseparentshadterriblemarriagesbutstayedtogetherforthekids?Howmanychildrenofdivorcefeeloverlyresponsiblefortheirparents1happiness・Butwhatabouttheburdenofknowingthatoneorbothofyourparentsenduredyearsofmisery—foryou?Asamatteroffact,weknowtheanswertothatquestion.Thebabyboomers,who
7、helpeddivorcebecomemainstream,weretheproductsofexactlythekindofmarriagestheanti-divorcersapproveof-thechild-centeredunionsofthe1950s,whenparents,especiallyMom,sacrificedthemselvesonthealtaroffamilyvaluesandsuburbanrespectability.Totoday*santi-divorcersthosemayseemli
