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1、IsLoveanArt?IsLoveanart?Thenitrequiresknowledgeandeffort.Orisloveapleasantsensation,whichtoexperiencesisamatterofchance,somethingone"fallsintro"ifoneislucky?Undoubtedly,themajorityofpeopletodaybelieveinthelatter.爱是一门艺术吗？那就需要知识并付出努力。或者爱是一种令人愉悦的情感，只有幸运儿才能“坠入”爱河呢？这本小书是以第一种假设为前提的，而大多数人无疑都相信第二种假设
2、。Notthatpeoplethinkthatloveisnotimportant.Theyarestarvedforit;theywatchendlessnumbersoffilmsabouthappyandunhappylovestories,theylistentohundredsoftrashysongsabutlove-yethardlyanyonethinksthatthereisanythingthatneedstobelearnedaboutlove・人们并非认为爱无关紧要。人们对于爱总是如饥似渴，悲欢离合的爱情电影他们百看不厌，百般无聊的爱情歌曲他们百听不烦。
3、但很少有人认为爱需要学习。Thispeculiarattitudeisbasedonseveralpremiseswhicheithersinglyorcombinedlytendtoupholdit.Mostpeopleseetheproblemofloveprimarilyasthatof"beingloved",ratherthanthatofToving",ofone*scapacitytolove・Hencetheproblemtothemishowtobeloved,howtobelovable.Inpursuitofthisaimtheyfollowseveral
4、paths・One,whichisespeciallyusedbymen,istobesuccessful,tobeaspowerfulandrichasthesocialmarginofone'spositionperm让s.Another,usedespeciallybywomen,istomakeoneselfattractive,bycultivatingone'sbody,dress,etc.Otherwaysofmakingoneselfattractive,usedbothbymenandwomen,aretodeveloppleasantmanners,inte
5、restingconversation,tobehelpful,modest,inoffensive.Manyofthewaystomakeoneselflovablearethesameasthoseusedtomakeoneselfsuccessful,ntowinfriendsandinfluencepeople.'*Asamatteroffact,whatmostpeopleinourculturemeanbybeinglovableisessentiallyamixturebetweenbeingpopularandhavingsexappeal.对爱的这种奇怪观点基
6、于几个错误前提，这些前提或单独或一起支撑着这一观点。多数人认为爱就是“被人爱J而非“爱别人"，或主动去爱的能力。因此，对他们而言，关键问题就在于如何被爱,如何扮可爱。他们采取各种途径以期达到此目的。一个方法就是成为成功人士，在自己的社会地位所许可的范围内获取最大量的权力和财产。这种方法的效法者多为男性。另一个方法则是通过保持身材和注重打扮使口己富有魅力。女性优为青睐该方法。其他一些让自己魅力四射的方法有：举止得体，谈吐风趣，乐于助人、低调内敛等。这些方式男女均有采用。很多使自己可爱的方式和使自己成功的途径并无区别，那就是“赢得朋友和影响他人J事实上，社会上大多数人所理解的“可爱
7、''无非是受大众欢迎和对异性有吸引力这两点的综合而已。Asecondpremisebehindtheattitudethatthereisnothingtobelearnedaboutloveistheassumptionthattheproblemofloveistheproblemofan“object",nottheproblemofa"faculty"・Peoplethinkthatto“love"issimple,butthattofindtherightobjecttolove・
