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1、ThereisamagicinwordofpraiseAbroadwaycomedianoncehadanightmare:hedreamedhewastellingstoriesandsingingsongsinacrowedtheater,withthousandsofpeoplewatchinghim—butnoonelaughedorclapped.“evenat$100,000aweek,”hesays,“thatwouldbejusthellonearth.Itisnotonlytheactorwhoneedsapplause.Withoutpraiseand
2、encouragmentanyonecanlossself-confidence.Thusweallhaveadoublenecessity:tobecommendedandtoknowhowtocommend.Thereisatechniqueingivingacompliment,arightwaytogoaboutit.Itisnorealcompliment,forinstance,topraiseamanforsomeobviousattainment.Usediscernmentandoriginality.“thatwasawonderfullyconvin
3、cingspeechyoumadetonight,”agraciouswomanoncesaidtoabusinessman.“Icouldnothelpthinkingwhatafinelawyeryouwouldhavemade.”Themerchantflushedlikeaschoolboyattheunexpectedcharacterofthetribute（礼物）.Noone,greatorobscure,isuntouchedbygenuineappreciation.Yale’srenowedEnglishprofessor,Williamlyonphe
4、lps,related:“onehotsummerdayIwentintoacrowdedrestaurantforlunch.Whenthewaiterhandedmethemenu,Isaid,‘theboysinthekitchencertainlymustbesufferingtoday!’thewaiterlookedatmeinsurprise.‘peoplecomeinhereandcomplainaboutthefood,kickabouttheserviceandgrowlabouttheheat.Innineteenyearsyouarethefirs
5、tpersonwhohaseverexpressedasympathyforthecooksbackthereinthekitchen,’whatpeoplewant,”phelpsconcluded,“isalittleattentionashumanbeings,”inthatattention,sincerityisessential.Themancominghomeafterahardday’sworkwhoseesthefacesofchildrenpressedagainstthewindowpanewaitingandwatchingforhim,maywa
6、terhissoulwiththeirsilentbutgoldenopinion.Childrenespeciallyarehungryforreassurance,andthewantofkindlyappreciationinchildrencanendangerthegrowthofcharacter.AyoungmothertoldthereverendA.W.beavenofaheart-achingincident:“mylittledaughteroftenmisbehavesandIhavetorebukeher.Butonedayshehadbeene
7、speciallygood,hadn’tdoneasinglethingthatcalledforreprimand.Thatnight,afterItuckedherinbedandstarteddownstairs,Iheardhersobbing.Turningback,Ifoundherheadhiddeninthepillow.Betweensobssheasked,“haven’tIbeenaprettygoodgirltoday?”“thatquestion,”saidthemother,“wentthrough
