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1、ThereisamagicinwordofpraiseAbroadwaycomedianoncehadanightmare:hedreamedhewastellingstoriesandsingingsongsinacrowedtheater,withthousandsofpeoplewatchinghim—butnoonelaughedorclapped.“evenat$100,000aweek,”hesays,“thatwouldbejusthellonearth.Itisnotonlytheactorwhoneedsapplause.W
2、ithoutpraiseandencouragmentanyonecanlossself-confidence.Thusweallhaveadoublenecessity:tobecommendedandtoknowhowtocommend.Thereisatechniqueingivingacompliment,arightwaytogoaboutit.Itisnorealcompliment,forinstance,topraiseamanforsomeobviousattainment.Usediscernmentandoriginal
3、ity.“thatwasawonderfullyconvincingspeechyoumadetonight,”agraciouswomanoncesaidtoabusinessman.“Icouldnothelpthinkingwhatafinelawyeryouwouldhavemade.”Themerchantflushedlikeaschoolboyattheunexpectedcharacterofthetribute(礼物).Noone,greatorobscure,isuntouchedbygenuineappreciation
4、.Yale’srenowedEnglishprofessor,Williamlyonphelps,related:“onehotsummerdayIwentintoacrowdedrestaurantforlunch.Whenthewaiterhandedmethemenu,Isaid,‘theboysinthekitchencertainlymustbesufferingtoday!’thewaiterlookedatmeinsurprise.‘peoplecomeinhereandcomplainaboutthefood,kickabou
5、ttheserviceandgrowlabouttheheat.Innineteenyearsyouarethefirstpersonwhohaseverexpressedasympathyforthecooksbackthereinthekitchen,’whatpeoplewant,”phelpsconcluded,“isalittleattentionashumanbeings,”inthatattention,sincerityisessential.Themancominghomeafterahardday’sworkwhosees
6、thefacesofchildrenpressedagainstthewindowpanewaitingandwatchingforhim,maywaterhissoulwiththeirsilentbutgoldenopinion.Childrenespeciallyarehungryforreassurance,andthewantofkindlyappreciationinchildrencanendangerthegrowthofcharacter.AyoungmothertoldthereverendA.W.beavenofahea
7、rt-achingincident:“mylittledaughteroftenmisbehavesandIhavetorebukeher.Butonedayshehadbeenespeciallygood,hadn’tdoneasinglethingthatcalledforreprimand.Thatnight,afterItuckedherinbedandstarteddownstairs,Iheardhersobbing.Turningback,Ifoundherheadhiddeninthepillow.Betweensobsshe
8、asked,“haven’tIbeenaprettygoodgirltoday?”“thatquestion,”saidthemother,“wentthrough