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1、考研英语作文考场范文：道德滑坡①Lookingatthisthought-provokingpicture（力II“whichwas中which引导定语从句,修饰picture;was和后面的depicted构成被动语态）symbolicallydepictedbythedrawer,Idorealizetheurgencytoimprovethemoralstandardsnowadays.②Apregnantwoman,anoldmanandhislittlegranddaughterstands（“stands”改为"stand”,该句主语为复数,主谓应保持一致）onthe
2、crowdedbus,lookingatayoungmanwhositsintheseatcomfortablywithapieceofblackclothcoveringhiseyes,puzzledandindignant（apuzzledandindignant^是川來修饰theyongman,或是作者"感到困惑和愤怒"，应表达清晰;若要表达作者的情感，可改为：...coveringhiseyes.1feelpuzzledandindignant）.©Thetemporaryblindinthepictureindicatesaseriousphenomenoninthem
3、odernsocietythatsomeyoungpeoplearesufferingfrommoraldecline.②Thereasonscontributingtomoraldeclineareworthpondering.（3）First,respectingtheoldandcaringtheyoungisabandonedbysomemodernpeople,becausetheyonlycareabouttheirownbenefits<©Onlyifyoucouldprovidethemwithagreatoutcome（“agreatoutcome"改为groa
4、toutcomesn,和them保持一致），willtheylendyouahand（"ahandv改为"hands”,和they保持一致）inexchange.⑤Inaddition,theeducationalsystemisalsotoblame（"betoblamefor"意为“対应负责任;应该为某事负责任”，如果要表述“教育体制也应对此负责”，可表达为：theeducationalsystemisalsotoblameforthephenomenon;如若要表述"教育体制也应受到责备",可表达为theeducationalsystemshouldalsotobeblam
5、ed）.⑥Itemphasizesmoreonhighmarksattheexponsoofhavingfewtimetoteachtraditionalmoralvaluesinschoolwhichleadstopeople，sdefect（"defect”为可数名词，廿匕处应改为"defects”和people保持一致）onthisissue.©Itishightimethatwefosteredourmoralvalues.②Foronething,schoolsandgovernmentsshouldplayanactiverole（"anactiverole”应改为a
6、ctiveroles",前后主谓保持一致,主语为schoolsandgovernments）inadvocatingmoralvaluesandtraditiormlvirtuestoteachtheyoung.③Foranother,individualsshouldlearnmoreaboutvirtuesandhelppeoplearoundwithawarmheart（“awarmheartv改为“warmheartsv,前后单复数保持一致）•④Onlythroughourjointeffort（"effort"应改为"efforts”，前后单复数保持一致），couldw
7、erecollectthevirtues.原作点评第一段描述图lffli的内容。第①旬，picture应该是被drawer描绘的，所以应该用被动语态“be+动词的过去的、分词”来表示;第②句最后，表达不够清晰，应注意。笫二段揭示图画的寓意，阐述产生此现象的儿个原因。应注意单复数问题。笫三段结合询两段的阐述，提出建议。总体点评文章亮点：文章结构完整，每个段落的功能基本得以体现。文章错误:①语法错谋：培训搜培训课程px.wangxiao.so培训网提醒您文章出现了一些语法错谋，比如被
