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1、考研英语作文考场范文:道德滑坡①Lookingatthisthought-provokingpicture(力II“whichwas中which引导定语从句,修饰picture;was和后面的depicted构成被动语态)symbolicallydepictedbythedrawer,Idorealizetheurgencytoimprovethemoralstandardsnowadays.②Apregnantwoman,anoldmanandhislittlegranddaughterstands(“stands”改为"stand”,该句主语为复数,主谓应保持一致)onthe
2、crowdedbus,lookingatayoungmanwhositsintheseatcomfortablywithapieceofblackclothcoveringhiseyes,puzzledandindignant(apuzzledandindignant^是川來修饰theyongman,或是作者"感到困惑和愤怒",应表达清晰;若要表达作者的情感,可改为:...coveringhiseyes.1feelpuzzledandindignant).©Thetemporaryblindinthepictureindicatesaseriousphenomenoninthem
3、odernsocietythatsomeyoungpeoplearesufferingfrommoraldecline.②Thereasonscontributingtomoraldeclineareworthpondering.(3)First,respectingtheoldandcaringtheyoungisabandonedbysomemodernpeople,becausetheyonlycareabouttheirownbenefits<©Onlyifyoucouldprovidethemwithagreatoutcome(“agreatoutcome"改为groa
4、toutcomesn,和them保持一致),willtheylendyouahand("ahandv改为"hands”,和they保持一致)inexchange.⑤Inaddition,theeducationalsystemisalsotoblame("betoblamefor"意为“対应负责任;应该为某事负责任”,如果要表述“教育体制也应对此负责”,可表达为:theeducationalsystemisalsotoblameforthephenomenon;如若要表述"教育体制也应受到责备",可表达为theeducationalsystemshouldalsotobeblam
5、ed).⑥Itemphasizesmoreonhighmarksattheexponsoofhavingfewtimetoteachtraditionalmoralvaluesinschoolwhichleadstopeople,sdefect("defect”为可数名词,廿匕处应改为"defects”和people保持一致)onthisissue.©Itishightimethatwefosteredourmoralvalues.②Foronething,schoolsandgovernmentsshouldplayanactiverole("anactiverole”应改为a
6、ctiveroles",前后主谓保持一致,主语为schoolsandgovernments)inadvocatingmoralvaluesandtraditiormlvirtuestoteachtheyoung.③Foranother,individualsshouldlearnmoreaboutvirtuesandhelppeoplearoundwithawarmheart(“awarmheartv改为“warmheartsv,前后单复数保持一致)•④Onlythroughourjointeffort("effort"应改为"efforts”,前后单复数保持一致),couldw
7、erecollectthevirtues.原作点评第一段描述图lffli的内容。第①旬,picture应该是被drawer描绘的,所以应该用被动语态“be+动词的过去的、分词”来表示;第②句最后,表达不够清晰,应注意。笫二段揭示图画的寓意,阐述产生此现象的儿个原因。应注意单复数问题。笫三段结合询两段的阐述,提出建议。总体点评文章亮点:文章结构完整,每个段落的功能基本得以体现。文章错误:①语法错谋:培训搜培训课程px.wangxiao.so培训网提醒您文章出现了一些语法错谋,比如被