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1、Allright,IwanttoseeashowofhandshowmanyofyouhaveunfriendedsomeoneonFacebookbecausetheysaidsomethingoffensiveaboutpoliticsorreligion,childcare,food?Andhowmanyofyouknowatleastonepersonthatyouavoidbecauseyoujustdon’twanttotalktothem?好的,我想让大家举手示意一下,有多少人曾经在Facebook上拉黑过好友,因为他们发表过关于政治,宗教,儿童权益,或者食物
2、等,不恰当的言论,有多少人至少有一个不想见的人,因为你就是不想和对方说话?Youknow,itusedtobethatinordertohaveapoliteconversation,wejusthadtofollowtheadviceofHenryHigginsin“MyFairLady”:Sticktotheweatherandyourhealth.Butthesedays,withclimatechangeandanti-vaxxing,thosesubjects—arenotsafeeither.Sothisworldthatwelivein,thisworldin
3、whicheveryconversationhasthepotentialtodevolveintoanargument,whereourpoliticianscan’tspeaktooneanother,andwhereeventhemosttrivialofissueshavesomeonefightingbothpassionatelyforitandagainstit,it’snotnormal.PewResearchdidastudyof10,000Americanadults,andtheyfoundthatatthismoment,wearemorepolar
4、ized;wearemoredividedthanweeverhavebeeninhistory.要知道,在过去想要一段礼貌的交谈我们只要遵循亨利﹒希金斯在《窈窕淑女》中的忠告,只谈论天气和你的健康状况就行了。但这些年随着气候变化以及反对疫苗运动的开展——这招不怎么管用了。因此,在我们生活的这个世界,这个每一次交谈,都有可能发展为争论的世界,政客无法彼此交谈,甚至为那些鸡毛蒜皮的事情。都有人群情绪激昂地赞成或者反对,这太不正常了。皮尤研究中心对一万名美国成年人做了一次调查,发现此刻我们的偏激程度,我们立场鲜明的程度,比历史上任何时期都要高。Wearelesslikelyto
5、compromise,whichmeanswe’renotlisteningtoeachother.Andwemakedecisionsaboutwheretolive,whotomarryandevenwhoourfriendsaregoingtobebasedonwhatwealreadybelieve.Again,thatmeanswe’renotlisteningtoeachother.Aconversationrequiresabalancebetweentalkingandlisting,andsomewherealongtheway,welostthatbal
6、ance.Now,partofthatisduetotechnology.Thesmartphonesthatyoualleitherhaveinyourhandsorcloseenoughthatyoucouldgrabthemreallyquickly.我们更不倾向于妥协,这意味着我们没有倾听彼此。我们做的各种决定,选择生活在何处,与谁结婚甚至和谁交朋友,都只基于我们已有的信念。再重复一遍,这只说明我们没有倾诉彼此。交谈需要平静讲述和倾听,而不知怎么的,我们却偏偏失去了这种平衡。技术进步是部分原因,比如智能手机,现在就在你们手里,或者就在旁边,随手就能拿到。Accord
7、ingtothePewResearch,AboutathirdofAmericanteenagerssendmorethanahundredtextsaday.Andmanyofthem,almostmostofthem,aremorelikelytotexttheirfriendsthantheyaretotalktothemfacetoface.There’sthisgreatpieceinTheAtlantic.ItwaswrittenbyahighschoolteachernamedPaulBarnwell