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1、Theartofsaying'no'(tactfully)拒绝的艺术DearAnnie:Ihopeyoudon'tthinkthisisadumbproblem,butIneedsomeadviceonhowtorefusewhenpeopleaskmetodothingsthataren'tpartofmyjobdescription,withoutbeingrudeaboutitorburninganybridges.Overthepastseveralyears,I'vegraduallybecomethe"go-to"pers
2、oninmydepartmentformoreandmoreextratasks.I'mhappytohelpout,eventhoughitusuallymeansstayinganextrahourortwointheeveningstogeteverythingdone.亲爱的安妮:当有人要求我去做不属于我份内的事情时,我该如何巧妙地拒绝,又不至于让自己看起来显得粗鲁无礼,同时又不会断了门路?希望您不会认为这是个愚蠢的问题,但我确实需要您的建议。过去几年,部门有额外的任务都会交给我,而且数量越来越多。我很愿意帮忙,虽然这通常意味
3、着每天晚上要加班一两个小时来完成这些工作。Butnow,myfamilyhasmyelderlyandillfatherlivingwithus,andIneedtoleaveworkat6p.m.onthedottorelievethehome-carenurse.SoIwanttobringuptheideaofdividingtheextraworkI'vebeendoingamongthefiveotherpeopleonmyteam--whichsoundssimple,exceptthatallmylifeI'vehadt
4、roublesaying"no"toanythingthatanyonewantsmetodo.It'salwaysbeeneasierformetojustsayyesthantodealwiththefeelingthatI'mlettingsomeonedown.Doyouoryourreadershaveanyadvice?--DoormatinDenver可现在,与我住在一起的父亲年事已高,而且有病在身,我必须在下午六点钟准时下班,来接替保姆。所以,我想建议部门将原先我做的那些额外的工作分摊给其他五个人负责——听起来很容易,
5、只是我生来不擅长拒绝。对我而言,相比让别人失望的感觉,我更愿意点头说“是”。您或您的读者有什么建议吗?——D.D.DearD.D.:Firstofall,Idon'tthinkthisisa"dumbproblem,"andneitherdoesBobBurg,aspeakerandauthorwhofrequentlyhearssomevariationofthisquestionfromaudiencemembersinhisseminarsatFortune500companies."Womentellmetheyhaveane
6、speciallyhardtimesaying'no,'butIthinkit'saproblemformen,too,"Burgsays."Theyjustdon'tadmititasmuch.亲爱的D.D.:首先,我并不认为这是一个“愚蠢的问题”。演讲家、作家鲍勃•伯格也有同样的观点。他在《财富》500强公司(Fortune500)召开的研讨会上经常听到类似的问题。伯格说:“女性告诉我,她们在说‘不’的时候尤其困难。但我认为男性也面临同样的问题,只是他们很少承认而已。”"Mostpeoplearegenerallyniceandd
7、on'tliketodisappointotherpeople,"headds."Whereitgetscounterproductiveiswhenthatimpulsetakesoverandmakesusdothingsthataren'tinourownbestinterests."他补充说:“大多数人都很友好,不喜欢让别人失望。只要违背了我们的下意识,就是冲动占据上风的时候,结果就会让我们做出一些不符合自己最佳利益的事情。”Moreover,thesituationyou'rein--whereajobjustkeepsex
8、panding,littlebylittle,untilyou'reloadeddownwithallkindsofextradutiesthataren'ttechnicallyyourresponsibility--