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1、Todaytherearetwomajorpartsinthespeech1.SomeEnglishsmalljokes2.SomebeautifulsentencesofthemovieIknowwhogodisAboysaystohismother,Mom,isGodamanorwoman?Themomthinksawhileandsays,Well,son,Godisbothmanandwoman.Thesonisconfused,soheasks,isGodblackorwhite?Themotherreplies,Godisbothblackandwhite,ho
2、ney.Theson,stillcurious,saysafterawhile,isGodgayorstraight,mommy?Themother,gettingalittleworried,answers,Son,Godisbothgayandstraight.Thesonthinksaboutit,andhisfacelightsupwhenhethinkshefinallyhasansweredhisquestion:IsGodMichaelJackson?囧SecretForaLongLifeAwomanwalksuptoalittleoldmanrockingi
3、nachaironhisporch（门廊）.Icouldn'thelpnoticinghowhappyyoulook,shesays.What'syoursecretforalong,happylife?Ismokethreepacksaday,drinkacase(箱)ofwhiskeyaweek,eatfattyfoodsandneverdoexercise.Wow,that'samazing,saysthewoman.Howoldareyou?Twenty-two.-_-
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6、TwoAttorneys两个律师Twoattorneyswentintoarestauran
7、tandorderedtwodrinks.Thentheybroughtoutsandwichesfromtheirbriefcasesandstartedtoeat.Theownermarchedoverandtoldthem,"Youcan'teatyourownsandwicheshere!"Theattorneyslookedateachother,shruggedtheirshouldersandthenexchangedsandwiches.→_→FatManandThinManAverythinmanmetaveryfatmaninthehotellobby(
8、大厅).“Fromyourlooks,”saidthefatman,“theremighthavebeenafamine（饥荒）.""Yes,"wasthereply,"andfromyourlooks,youmighthavecausedit.“╮(╯▽╰)╭YouhavetorollupthewindowsfirstAwomangotadent（凹痕）inhercarandtookitintotherepairshop.Therepairmandecidedtohaveaweebit（一点，少许）offun.Sohetoldherallshehadtodowastota
9、keithomeandblowinthetailpipe（排气管）untilthedentpoppeditselfout（膨胀）.After15minutesofthis,alady,oneofthewoman'sfriendscameoverandaskedwhatshewasdoing."I'mtryingtopopoutthisdent,butit'snotreallyworking."“Duh（=Do表犹豫）youhavetorollupthewindowsfirst!“?_?I'venevergivenmuchthoughttohowIwoulddie,butdy
10、ingintheplaceofsomeoneIloveseemslikeagoodwaytogo.我过去从未过多考虑过我将来会如何死去，但死在我爱的人怀里倒是一个不错的选择。Butit’syou,yourscent,it’slikeadrugtome.You’relikemypersonalbrandofheroin.但是你，你的气味，对我来说就像毒品一样。你就像我私人的海洛因一样Idon‘thavethestrengthtostayawayfromyouanymore.我再也没有离开你的力气了。Ijustcoul
