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搞笑的英语小笑话1：ExpensivePriceDentist:I'msorry,madam,butI'llhavetochargeyoutwenty-fivedollarsforpullingyourson'stooth.Mother:Twenty-fivedollars!ButIthoughtyouonlychargedfivedollarsforanextraction.Dentist:Iusuallydo.Butyoursonyelledsoloud,hescaredfourotherpatientsoutoftheoffice.昂贵的代价牙科医生：对不起，夫人，为给您的儿子拔牙，我得收二十五美元。母亲：二十五美元!可是我知道您拔一颗牙只要五美元呀?牙科医生：是的。但是您儿子这么大声地叫唤，他都吓跑四位病人了搞笑的英语小笑话2：IWasn'tAsleepWhenagroupofwomengotonthecar,everyseatwasalreadyoccupied.Theconductornoticedamanwhoseemedtobeasleep,andfearinghemightmisshisstop,henudgedhimandsaid:"Wakeup,sir!""Iwasn'tasleep,"themananswered."Notasleep?Butyouhadyoureyesclosed.""Iknow.Ijusthatetolookatladiesstandingupbesidemeinacrowdedcar."我没有睡着当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒!”“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。“没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?”“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”搞笑的英语小笑话3：Thepoorhusband "Youcan'timaginehowdifficultitisformetodealwithmywife,"themancomplainedtohisfriend."Sheasksmeaquestion,thenanswersitherself,andafterthatsheexplainedtomeforhalfanhourwhymyansweriswrong.可怜的丈夫“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”Who'sMorePolite?Afatmanandaskinnymanwerearguingaboutwhowasthemorepolite.Theskinnymansaidhewasmorepolitebecausehealwaystippedhishattoladies.Butthefatmanknewhewasmorecourteousbecause,wheneverhegotupandofferedhisseat,twoladiescouldsitdown.谁更有礼貌?一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌，因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度，因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时，总有两位女士能坐下。搞笑的英语小笑话4：LetDoginHotelAmanwrotealettertoasmallhotelheplannedtovisitonhisvacation:"Iwouldverymuchliketobringmydogwithme.Heiswell-groomedandverywellbehaved.Wouldyoubewillingtopermitmetokeephiminmyroomwithmeatnight?"Animmediatereplycamefromthehotelowner,whosaid,"I'vebeenoperatingthishotelformanyyears.Inallthattime,I'veneverhadadogstealtowels,bedclothes,silverwareorpicturesoffthewalls.I'veneverhadtoevictadoginthemiddleofthenightforbeingdrunkanddisorderly.AndI'veneverhadadogrunoutonahotelbill.Yes,indeed,yourdogiswelcomeatmyhotel.And,ifyourdogwillvouchforyou,you'rewelcometostayhere,too."一个人给一家他计划在假期里停留的小旅馆写了封信，“我非常希望带着我的狗，它很干净很有教养，你能允许它和我睡一间屋子吗?”旅馆主人立即回了封信，“我经营旅馆很多年了，狗从没偷过毛巾，床单，餐具，或者墙上的画。我也从没有在半夜因为狗喝醉胡闹而赶走它，狗也从不不付帐就跑掉。实际上我们非常欢迎您的狗来我们旅馆，如果它为您担保，也欢迎您来。搞笑的英语小笑话5：IntelligentsonOneday,thefatherletseightyear-oldsonsendaletter,thesontooktheletter,thefatherthenremembereddidn'twritetheaddressandaddressee'snameontheenvelope. Afterthesoncomesback,thefatheraskshim:"Youhavethrowntheletterinthemailbox?""Certainly""Youhavenotseenontheenvelopenottowritetheaddressandtheaddresseename?""Icertainlysawnothingwrittenontheenvelope.""Thenwhyyoudidn'ttakeitback?""Ialsothoughtthatyoudonotwritetheaddressandtheaddressee,isfordoesnotwanttoletmeknowthatyoudosendthelettertowho!"聪明的儿子有一天,父亲让八岁的儿子去寄一封信,儿子已经拿着信跑了,父亲才想起信封上没写地址和收信人的名字。儿子回来后,父亲问他:“你把信丢进邮筒了吗?”“当然”“你没看见信封上没有写地址和收信人名字吗?”“我当然看见信封上什么也没写”“那你为什么不拿回来呢?”“我还以为你不写地址和收信人,是为了不想让我知道你把信寄给谁呢!”搞笑的英语小笑话6：PutyourfeetinTheschoolgirlwassittingwithherfeetstrechedfaroutintotheaisle,andwasbusilychewinggum,whentheteacherespiedher."Mary!"calledtheteachersharply."Yes,Madam?"questionedthepupil,"Takethatgumoutofyourmouthandputyourfeetin!"把脚放进去一个女学生坐在座位上，嘴里起劲地嚼着口香糖，脚却伸到课桌间的走道里，被老师发现了。“玛丽!”老师严厉地叫她。“什么事，老师?”这女学生问。“把口香糖从嘴里拿出来，把脚放进去。”搞笑的英语小笑话7：IWasn'tAsleepWhenagroupofwomengotonthecar,everyseatwasalreadyoccupied.Theconductornoticedamanwhoseemedtobeasleep,andfearinghemightmisshisstop,henudgedhimandsaid:"Wakeup,sir!""Iwasn'tasleep,"themananswered."Notasleep?Butyouhadyoureyesclosed.""Iknow.Ijusthatetolookatladiesstandingupbesidemeinacrowdedcar." 我没有睡着当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒!”“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。“没睡着?可是你眼睛都闭上了呀?”“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”搞笑的英语小笑话8：Thepoorhusband"Youcan'timaginehowdifficultitisformetodealwithmywife,"themancomplainedtohisfriend."Sheasksmeaquestion,thenanswersitherself,andafterthatsheexplainedtomeforhalfanhourwhymyansweriswrong.可怜的丈夫“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”搞笑的英语小笑话9：Whereisthefather?Twobrotherswerelookingatsomebeautifulpaintings."Look,"saidtheelderbrother."Hownicethesepaintingsare!""Yes,"saidtheyounger,"butinallthesepaintingsthereisonlythemotherandthechildren.Whereisthefather?"Theelderbrotherthoughtforamomentandthenexplained,"Obviouslyhewaspaintingthepictures."父亲在哪儿?兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀!”“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”搞笑的英语小笑话10：Doesthedogknowtheproverb,too? Thelittleboydidnotlikethelookofthebarkingdog."It'sallright,"saidagentleman,"don'tbeafraid.Don'tyouknowtheproverb:Barkingdogsdon'tbite?""Ah,yes,"answeredthelittleboy."Iknowtheproverb,butdoesthedogknowtheproverb,too?"狗也知道这个谚语吗?一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗?”
