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1、Unit11OpentheDoortoForgivenessLewisB.SmedesIt’ssurgeryofthesoul,theloving,healingwaytocreatenewbeginningsoutofpastpain.1.Someonehurtyou,maybeyesterday,maybelongago,andyoucannotforgetit.Youdidnotdeservethehurtandithaslodgeditselfinyourmemory,whereitkeepsonhurting.2.Youaren
2、otalone.Weallmuddleourwaythroughaworldwhereevenwell-meaningpeoplehurtoneanother.Afriendbetraysus;aparentabusesus;aspouseleavesus.3.PhilosopherHannahArendtbelievesthattheonlypowerthatcanstopthestreamofpainfulmemoriesisthe“facultyofforgiving”.Inthatspirit,oneDecemberdayin19
3、83,PopeJohnPaulIIwalkedintoacellofRebibbiaprisonoutsideRometomeetMehmetAliAgca.ThePopetookthehandofthemanwhohadtriedtokillhim,andforgavehim.4.Formostofus,however,itisnoteasytoforgive.Forgivingseemsalmostunnatural.Oursenseoffairnesstellsusthatpeopleshouldpayforthewrongthey
4、do.Butinforgivingwecanmovefromhurtingandhatingtohealingandreconciliation.5.Hateisournaturalresponsetodeepandunfairhurts.Awomanwishesherformerhusbandwouldbemiserablewithhisnewwife.Amanwhosefriendhasbetrayedhimhopesthefriendwillbefiredfromhisjob.Hateisamalignancythatfesters
5、andgrows,stiflingjoyandthreateningourhealth.Ithurtsthehatermorethanthehated.Itmustbecutout—forourownsake.6.Howcanthisbedone?Howcanyouletgoofahurt,thewayachildopenshishandsandfreesatrappedbutterfly?Hereareguidelinestohelpyoubegintoforgive:7.Confrontyourmalice.Noneofuswants
6、toadmitthatwehatesomeone,sowehideitfromourselves.Butthefurydeniedragesbeneaththesurfaceandinfectsallourrelationships.Admittingourhatecompelsustomakeadecisionaboutthesurgeryofthesoulwecallforgiving.Wemustacknowledgewhathashappened,faceuptotheotherpersonandsay:“Youdidmewron
7、g.”8.LizwasanassistantprofessorofbiologyatauniversityinCalifornia.Shewasagoodteacher,andthechairmanofherdepartmentpromisedtoaskthedeantopromoteher.Instead,hisreportwassocriticalofherperformancethatthedeanadvisedhertolookforanotherjob.9.Lizhatedthechairmanforbetrayingher,b
8、utsheneededarecommendationfromhim.Whenhesaidhowsorryhewasthathissupportcouldnotconvincethedean,s
