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1、IanMcEwanTheCementGardenPARTONE1Ididnotkillmyfather,butIsometimesfeltIhadhelpedhimonhisway.Andbutforthefactthatitcoincidedwithalandmarkinmyownphysicalgrowth,hisdeathseemedinsignificantcomparedwithwhatfollowed.MysistersandItalkedabouthimtheweekafterhedied,andSuecertainlycried
2、whentheambulancementuckedhimupinabright-redblanketandcarriedhimaway.Hewasafrail,irascible,obsessivemanwithyellowishhandsandface.IamonlyincludingthelittlestoryofhisdeathtoexplainhowmysistersandIcametohavesuchalargequantityofcementatourdisposal.Intheearlysummerofmyfourteenthye
3、aralorrypulledupoutsideourhouse.Iwassittingonthefrontsteprereadingacomic.Thedriverandanothermancameto-wardsme.Theywerecoveredinafine,paledustwhichgavetheirfacesaghostlylook.Theywerebothwhistlingshrillycompletelydifferenttunes.Istoodupandheldthecomicoutofsight.IwishedIhadbeen
4、readingtheracingpageofmyfather'spaper,orthefootballresults.'Cement?'oneofthemsaid.Ihookedmythumbsintomypockets,movedmyweightontoonefootandnarrowedmyeyesalittle.Iwantedtosaysomethingterseandappropriate,butIwasnotsureIhadheardthemright.Ileftittoolong,fortheonewhohadspokenrolle
5、dhiseyestowardstheskyandwithhishandsonhishipsstaredpastmeatthefrontdoor.Itopenedandmyfathersteppedoutbitinghispipeandholdingaclipboardagainsthiship.'Cement,'themansaidagain,thistimewithadown-wardinflexion.Myfathernodded.Ifoldedthecomicintomybackpocketandfollowedthethreemenup
6、thepathtothelorry.Myfatherstoodontiptoetolookovertheside,tookhispipefromhismouthandnoddedagain.Themanwhohadnotyetspokenmadeasavagechopwithhishand.Asteelpinflewfreeandonesideofthelorryfellawaywithagreatnoise.Thetightlypackedpapersacksofcementwerearrangedtwodeepalongthefloorof
7、thelorry.Myfathercountedthem,lookedathisclipboardandsaid,'Fifteen.'Thetwomengrunted.Ilikedthiskindoftalk.Itoosaidtomyself,'Fifteen.'Thementookasackeachontheirshouldersandwewentbackdownthepath,thistimewithmeinfrontfollowedbymyfather.Roundtoonesideofthehousehepointedwiththewet
8、stemofhispipeatthecoalhole.Themenheavedtheirsacksintothecellarandreturnedto