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1、StopBeingaPeople-Pleaser发布时间：2012-11-01文章出自：blogs.hbr.org原文链接：点击查看Ifyou'vealwaysfeltacompulsiontomeeteveryoneelse'sneedsbeforeyourown,it'shardtoimaginebeingdifferent.People-pleasingisnotonlywhatyoudo,butastrongpartofwhoyoubelieveyouare.Insomejobs,immediateresponsivenesscomeswiththete
2、rritory(justthinkoffirefighters).Inothersaquickreplyispreferable,suchaswithcustomerservicerepsorpublicists.Butinmanyotherworksituations,thiscycleofresponsivenessleadstoneglectofthemostimportantactivities.Eithertheydon'thappenatall,oryouendupfillingyournightsandweekendsdoingyour"real"
3、workwiththelastfumesofenergyyoucansummon.I'mintimatelyawareofthisstrugglebecauseastheownerofatimecoachingandtrainingcompany,I'veworkedwithclientsonsixdifferentcontinentswhocometomefeelinglikevictimsoftheircircumstances.Thisleadsthemtoresistdoingtheactivitiesthatcouldletthemhaveamores
4、aneworklife,suchasblockingouttimeforkeyactivities,because"someonewilljustmessupmyscheduleanyway."Ifthissoundslikeyou,beforeyoucanmoveforwardinyourtimemanagementhabits,youneedtorealizeyoudon'thavetobesovulnerabletotheseattacksonyourschedule.Youcanmaintainappropriateboundaries.Butfirst
5、,afewcaveats:Wantingtomakepeoplehappyisnotanintrinsicallynegativequality.Youarenotabadorflawedorinadequatepersonifservingothersandreceivingaffirmationjustfillsyouwithjoy.(IknowbecauseI'moneofthosepeople!)It'sjustthatifyoufeelcompelledtoalwayshelppeople—evenattheexpenseofotherhigherpr
6、iorities—youneedtoconditionyourselftobelesssensitivetootherpeople'sneedsandmoreawareofyourownsoyoucanstayinbalance.Speakingofbalance,ifyou'reneverhelpful,alwaysinsistentonhavingyourway,neverwantingtogotheextramile,thisarticledoesn'tapplytoyoueither.It'sgoodtoworkasateam,tohelpothers,
7、andtogiveasmuchormorethanyoutake.WhatIoutlinebelowappliestothosewhoworkthemselveslikecrazyandarefeelingexhausted,resentful,andfrustratedbecausethey'renotmakingheadwayontheirowngoals.Ifyou'rereadytostartinvestingyourtime,insteadoflettingotherpeoplespenditforyou,I'veoutlinedthreecommon
8、scenariostha
