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1、考研1号考研英语《写作160篇》“拔苗助长”读者练习在线修改写作原文Thepicturepresentsusathought-provokingscene,inwhichafatherattemptstoforcehisyoungsontoreadbookswithregardtoearly-MBA.Bycontrast,reluctantasthesonis,hehastogoonhisstudytomeethisfather’stoughrequirement.Whatanironicaldrawingitis!Indeed,anincreasingnumberofparents
2、tendtoputtoomuchpressureontheirchildren’sstudy.Thereasonwhysuchphenomenonhappenscanbeinterpretedasfollows.Onetheonehand,fromtheparents’perspective,thechildrenarelikelytofallbehindwhencompetingwiththeircounterpartsiftheydon’tstartlearningearly.Ontheotherhand,sincemostoftheparentstodayhavesufferf
3、romamiserablechildhoodandreadlittle,theenthusiasmfortakingfurtherstudynaturallyremainstothepresentgeneration.Withwhathasmentionedabove,Isuggestparentsshouldtakechildrentovisitmorezoos,scenicspotsorhistoricrelics,whichisalsoawaytoeducatethechildrenandwillbenefitthemmoreefficiently.Thatistosay,on
4、lyfollowingthenaturallawscanachildgrowuphealthily.原作点评第一段点评①Thepicturepresentsusathought-provokingscene,inwhichafatherattemptstoforcehisyoungsontoreadbookswithregardtoearly-MBA.②Bycontrast,reluctantasthesonis,hehastogoonhisstudytomeethisfather’stoughrequirement.一段描绘了漫画内容。写得非常好，运用了非限定性定语从句以及倒装句式
5、。建议这里的bycontrast改成but，bycontrast在有明显的反面对照时才使用。第二段点评①Whatanironicaldrawingitis!Indeed,anincreasingnumberofparentstendtoputtoomuchpressureontheirchildren’sstudy.②Thereasonwhysuchphenomenonhappenscanbeinterpretedasfollows.③Onetheonehand,fromtheparents’perspective,thechildrenarelikelytofallbehindwh
6、encompetingwiththeircounterpartsiftheydon’tstartlearningearly.④Ontheotherhand,sincemostoftheparentstodayhavesufferfromamiserablechildhoodandreadlittle,theenthusiasmfortakingfurtherstudynaturallyremainstothepresentgeneration.二段揭示主题并分析缘由。写得也非常好，但是请注意个别细节问题。⑴第三句，注意ononehand…ontheotherhand固定搭配的正确使用
7、。⑵第四句，本句话写的很好，但是意思上稍微有点不妥当，建议稍作修改，sincemostoftheparentstodayhavesufferfromknowinglittle,theenthusiasmoflearningmorenaturallyremainstothepresentgeneration，这样就很完美了。第三段点评①Withwhathasmentionedabove,Isuggestparentsshouldtakechildrentov
