[考研英语]考研英语写作修改练习及点评——考研英语写作160篇

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1、【考研1号】《写作160篇》——第一本考研英语话题写作连续6年命中作文原题2011年考研英语写作在线修改练习及点评Asweseefromthecartoonabove,thereexisttwodifferentaspectsoffishingnamelyitisabriefhistoryofcommercialfishingThefirstpictureshowsthatfishwanderinginthewaterandthereisonlyfewboatworkingonfishinginthelakeTherearenumer

2、ousfishinthewaterabovewhichaboatwasoccupiedwithfishingthatwhatmuchbiggerinsizewhen1900.Bythecontrast,thesecondpictureindicatesthatin1996therearenumerousboatsfishingonthewaterinwhichithardlytoseeafewfishwhosesizewasbiggerthanformer.Accordingtothephenomena,Wecanconcludeth

3、atfish’snumberdecreasingbecausemoreandmorefishingactivesheldbypeoplethatgainbenefitsfromfishingasworldpeople’sfishconsuminglargerandlarger.Moreover,fishing’sfruitisreducingmaythankstotheworld’senvironmentchangingcausedbypeople’sbehavior,whichgavethewaterwherefishliveont

4、henegativeeffectthatkillmajorityfishorhamperthefishingproducingtoinfluencethefishingecologysystem.Sowhatwecando,itisthehightimewemadelegislativesforprotectingfishingdevelopingandcontrollingpeople’sbehavior.Havingrecognizedthattheimportanceofprotectingfishsourceandpaying

5、attentiontoconsumeeconomically,Thefishinwaterwouldn’tgetlessorextinct.【第一段点评修改】①Asweseefromthecartoonabove（above作为副词，修饰动词时可以放在动词之后，比如说thequestionmentionedabove；作为介词，具体用法是abovethesea；但是作为形容词，修饰名词时，需要放在名词之前）,thereexist（因为该段在描绘漫画内容时有时间定位，所以要注意整段的动词时态为过去式并保持一致）twodifferenta

6、spectsoffishing（namely引导了该句的分句，所以在这里应加逗号将两个句子隔开）namelyitisabriefhistoryofcommercialfishing②Thefirstpictureshowsthatfishwandering（这里表示鱼在水中漫游的状态，wandering前面缺少系动词be）inthewaterandthereis（动词时态问题，few修饰可数名词，所以这里系动词要用were）onlyfewboat（使用复数）workingonfishingin（渔船在湖面作业应使用介词on，in表示在

7、湖里）thelake③Therearenumerousfishinthewaterabove（问题同①句）which（这里which引导的从句并不是在修饰前文内容，而同样是漫画中的景象，应与前文为并列关系，所以应使用表并列的连接词，如and，atthesametime等）aboatwasoccupiedwithfishingthatwhatmuchbiggerinsizewhen1900.（that从句和when引导的从句缺少谓语动词，从句部分表意不清）④Bythecontrast,thesecondpictureindicates（

8、动词时态问题）thatin1996thereare（动词时态问题）numerousboatsfishingonthewaterin更多精华请登陆考研1号网www.ky007.com【考研1号】《写作160篇》——第一本考