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1、HisPolitenessIsHerPowerlessnessDeborahTannenTherearemanydifferentkindsofevidencethatwomenandmenarejudgeddifferentlyeveniftheytalkthesameway.Thistendencymakesmischiefindiscussionsofwomen,menandpower.Ifalinguisticstrategyisusedbyawoman,itisseenaspowerless;ifitisusedbyaman,itisseenaspowerful.Often,the
2、labelingof''womenslanguage0as''powerlesslanguage''reflectstheviewofwomensbehaviorthroughthelensofmen's.Becausetheyarenotstrugglingtobeone・up,womenoftenfindthemselvesframedasone-down.Anysituationisripeformisinterpretation.Thisambiguityaccountsformuchmisinterpretationbyexpertsaswellasnonexperts,bywhi
3、chwomenswaysofthinking,utteredinaspiritofrapport,arebrandedpowerless.Nowhereisthisinherentambigu汁yclearerthaninabriefcommentinanewspaperarticleinwhichacouple,bothpsychologicts,werejointlyinterviewed.Thejournalistaskedthemthemeaningof''beingverypolite."Thetwoexpertsrespondedsimultaneously,givingdiff
4、erentanswers.Themansaid,"Subservience."Thewomansaid,MSensitivity.HBothexpertswereright,buteachwasdescribingtheviewofadifferentgender.Expertsandnonexpertsaliketendtoseeanythingwomendoasevidenceofpowerlessness.Thesamenewspaperarticlequotesanotherpsychologistassaying,"Amanmightaskawoman,'Willyouplease
5、gotothestore?1whereawomanmightsay,Gee,Ireallyneedafewthingsfromthestore,butrmsotired.'"Thewomansstyleiscalled"covert,"atermsuggestingnegativequalitieslikebeing''sneaky0and''underhanded/1Thereasonofferedforthisispower.Thewomandoesn'tfeelshehastherighttoaskdirectly.Granted,womenhavelowerstatusthanmen
6、inourAmericansociety.Butthisisnotnecessarilywhytheyprefernottomakeoutrightdemands.Theexplanationforawoman'sindirectnesscouldjustaswellbeherseekingconnection.Ifyougetyourwayasaresultofhavingdemandedit,thepayoffissatisfyingintermsofstatus：Youreone-upbecauseothersaredoingasyoutoldthem.Butifyougetyourw
7、aybecauseothershappenedtowantthesamething,orbecausetheyofferedfreely,thepayoffisrapport.Youreneitherone-upnorone-downbybeinghappilyconnectedtootherswhosewantsarethesameasyours.Furthermore,ifindirectnessisun
