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1、MarriagePreparationbyJeffryH.Larson,Ph.D.ShouldWeMarryorNot?TheBeatlessang,“Allyouneedislove.”Yourfriendsmighttellyou,“Goodcommunicationisallyoureallyneed.”Yourparentsadviseyou,“Thekeyistomarrysomeonewiththesamevalues.”Everyonehasadvicethesedaysforpeopleconsideringmarriage,whetherit'saf
2、irstmarriageorremarriage.Theproblemis,noneofthisadviceistotallycorrect,norisittotallyincorrect.So,whatpremaritalfactorsbestpredictthefuturesuccessofyourmarriage?Whatkindsofcouplesshouldnotgetmarried?Howdoyouknowyouarereadytomarry?Ifyouareinaseriousrelationship,shouldyoupursuemarriage,br
3、eakup,orjustkeepthingsthesame?PredictingaSatisfyingMarriageSocialscientistsandclinicianshavefoundtwodozenorsospecificfactorsthatpredictfuturemaritalsatisfaction.Thesefactorscanbeviewedasformingatriangle—amodelknownasthemarriagetriangle.Thethreemajorfactorsinthetriangleare:1.Individualtr
4、aits.Theseincludeanindividual’spersonalitytraitsandemotionalhealth,aswellasvalues,attitudes,andbeliefs.Examplesofsuchtraitsare:flexibilityandself-esteem(positivefactors),depressionandimpulsiveness(negativefactors),interpersonalskills(e.g.,assertiveness),andrealisticbeliefsaboutmarriage.
5、2.Coupletraits.Theseincludecouplecommunicationandconflictresolutionskills,degreeofacquaintance(howlongandhowwellthecouplehasknowneachother),similarityofvaluesandgoals(positivefactors),andlivingtogetherasatrialmarriage(negativefactor).3.Personalandrelationshipcontexts.Theseincludefamilyb
6、ackgroundcharacteristicssuchaspreviousmarriages,existingchildren,thequalityofanindividual’sparents’marriage,familyrelationshipquality,ageatmarriage,andparents’andfriends’approvaloftherelationship.AssessingYourselfandYourRelationshipKnowingandunderstandingthepremaritalfactorsdiscussedabo
7、veisthefirststep.Thesecondstepisassessingthesefactorsinyourselfandyourrelationship.Thiscanbeaccomplishedmosteffectivelyandeasilybycompletingacomprehensivepremaritalassessmentquestionnaire(PAQ)andinterpretingtheresultswithyourpartner.Threehigh-qualityPAQsthatprovidecoupleswithus
