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1、大学英语四级作文范文讲评作文题目：“odernenarefonedofdoingsomethingathome.Inspiteofthesechanges,theliberationofenhasnotbeenpletelyrealized.Sometimes,thematter,thehusbandhittinghasentoasmuchasthemen,buttheyarepaidlessthanthemen.Somepeoplehavenotpletelyrealizedtheliberationofen.东方教育
2、点评：条理不清，思路紊乱，大部分句子均有错误，有的甚至影响理解。具体问题剖析：(1)缺乏逻辑，东一句西一句，没有围绕中心论述，如第一段就没有展开论述妇女社会角色的转变，说得太笼统而缺乏说服力。（2）用汉语思维，句子有明显的汉语痕迹，如“anyanyhusbandsonlye,anddohouseeshopping.Theyonlyanagerofapany.东方教育点评：基本切题。有些地方表达思想不够清楚，文字勉强连贯；语言错误相当多，其中有一些是严重错误。 具体问题剖析：（1）论证不够深入，缺少事例，缺少说服力。（2）文字
3、缺连贯、且显累赘，如第二段可以把各句再改得简练一点并且有适当的转承词。（3）语言错误相当多，如“Foranexample”，“Someenarenotsecrtaryintheoffice,instead,theybeemanagerofapany.”应改为“Someenareonlongersecretariesintheoffice,instead,theybeemanagersofthepanies.”（单复数）例4．（11分段）oreandmoreengotooneyinsteadofkeepingthehous
4、eorlookingafterthechildren.anycountries,moreandmoreenareactingasers,scientistsandevenleaders.yClassmateFellIll(orGotInjured)提纲：1.简单叙述一下这位同学生病（或受伤）的情况2.同学、老师和我是如何帮助他/她的3.人与人之间的这种相互关爱给我的感受是……例1．（2分段）Oneday,.ostofthestudentsreadtoomuch(many)majorbookse(something)inter
5、esting(e.Novelcanletthemrelax(relaxed).Sotheychoosenovel.Ilikeread(reading)novel,byreadingitIknoybrains.SoIchoosethenovel.东方教育点评：(1)基本切题。(2)表达思想不清楚，连贯性差。(3)有较多的严重语言错误。（4）字数不够，要酌情扣分。例3．（8分段）ynameisLiming.Iamstudyingatcollege.Aymind.Itorning,June15th,ineatanotheruniv
6、ersity.Ietersaaged.Bothhoofsepeopleagedcar.Onemananstation.Alotofcarsmedontheroad.Fromthestoppingtrackontheroad,itisclearthatthetyopinion,thetaxidriversareeagertotakemorepassengersandmakealittlemoremoney.Ontheotherhand,bothdriversdontshoindthatalittlesloeanstakin
7、gcareofyouroberofpirate（private）houseshadbeenona（an）increasefrom1990to2000.In1990,itereasonsforthisfact.Oneofthemprovementofpeopleslivingconditions（condition）,allpeopleegoodthingsresultedfromthisfact.SuchasitcouldimproveChineseeconomy.Butthereebadthings,suchasittoo
8、kmuchtimetogotothegraphitisclearthatthepercentageofthestateo75%in1990to20%in2000,ainreasonsforthesechanges.tobeginentofthetechnologyandscience,pe
