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1、英语笑话(带中文翻译)1、HowmuchEnglishcanyouspeak?"YourHonor,Iwanttobringtoyourattentionhowunfairitisformyclienttobeaccusedoftheft.HearrivedinNewYorkCityaweekagoandbarelyknewhiswayaround.What'smore,heonlyspeaksafewwordsofEnglish."Thejudgelookedatthedefendantandasked,"HowmuchEnglishcanyouspeak?"
2、Thedefendantlookedupandsaid,"Givemeyourwallet!"中文翻译"法官先生，我的当事人被指控偷窃，这是多么不公正啊。他一周前才来到纽约，几乎不认路。而且，他只会说几个英语单词。"法官看了看被告，问道："你会说多少英文？"被告抬起头，说："把你的钱包给我！"2Ahusband,provingtohiswifethatwomentalkmorethanmen,showedherastudywhichindicatedthatmenuseonaverageonly15000wordsaday,whereaswomenuse3000
3、0wordsaday.Shethoughtaboutthisforawhileandthentoldherhusbandthatwomenusetwiceasmanywordsasmenbecausetheyhavetorepeateverythingtheysay.Hesaid,"What?"丈夫给妻子看了一项调查结果，为了向她证明女人比男人啰嗦。研究表明男人平均每天使用15000个字，而女人每天使用30000个。妻子想了一会儿说，女人每天说的字数是男人的两倍，因为她们必须重复已经说过的话。他问："什么？"3Boy:Isthisseatempty?Girl:Y
4、es,andthisonewillbeifyousitdown.男孩：这个座位是空的么？女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也将是空的。4、"Tom,what'sthematterwithyourbrother?"askedthemotherinthekitchen."He'scrying.""Oh,nothing,Mum,"repliedTom."I'meatingmycake.HeiscryingbecauseIwon'tgivehimany.""Buthashefinishedhisowncake?""Yes."saidTom."Andhealsocriedw
5、henIwashelpinghimfinishthat.""汤姆，你弟弟怎么了？"妈妈在厨房里问。"他在哭。""没事儿，妈妈，"汤姆答道。"我在吃我的蛋糕。他哭是因为我不给他吃。""他已经吃完自己的了么？""是的。""我帮他吃完时，他也哭了。"2009-6-7Aguysaystohisfriend,"GuesshowmanycoinsIhaveinmypocket."Thefriendssays,"IfIguessright,willyougivemeoneofthem?"Thefirstguyssays,"Ifyouguessright,I'llgiveyou
6、bothofthem!"路人甲对路人乙说，"猜猜我兜里有几个子儿？"路人乙说："我猜对了，你能给我一个不？"路人甲说："你要猜对了，我两个全部给你！"2009-6-6研究生和本科生的区别"Icanalwaystellagraduateclassfromanundergraduateclass,"saidaninstructoratauniversitygraduateengineeringcourse."WhenIsay'Goodafternoon,'theundergraduatesrespond'Goodafternoon.'Butthegraduatest
7、udentsjustwriteitdown."一个教师在研究生工程学课堂上说："我一眼就能看出来哪些是本科生，哪些是研究生。""我说'下午好'的时候，本科生回答'下午好'，而研究生则把这句话记在本子上。"2009-6-5Dad:Tom,pleasetellme,whichmonthhas28days?Tom:Everymonth.爸爸：告诉我汤姆，哪个月有28天呢？汤姆：每个月都有啊！2009-6-4makingfacesFindingoneofherstudentsmakingfacesatothersontheplayground,MsSmithstoppe
8、dtogentlyrep
