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1、PositivePsychology–Lecture8Iendedlasttimebysharingsomebiographicaldetailsaboutmylife.Somepeopleaskedmeafter,"Aretheyreallytrue?"Soyes,Theyareabsolutelytrue.AndItoldtheincidentfromtwoperspectives—firstasafaultfinder,andthenasameritfinder.Nowtheimportantthingtokeepinmindwhenwethinkaboutthemeritfinderi
2、sthatit'snotthatthemeritfinderdoesnotexperiencepainordisappointment,oranger,orhumility,orfear,ordisappointment.It'sverydisappointingtosaytheleast,nottobeabletopursueone'sgoal,ifthegoalhappenstobeaprofessionalcareerinsquash.Itisveryhumiliatingtobetheonlypersonwhofailsofaprogramandtohavetowalkaroundfo
3、rawholeyearinWilliamJameswhilefeelinglikeyouhaveahorncomingoutofhead.It'snotfun.It'spainful.However,thedifferencebetweenameritfinder,sorry,abenefitfinderandafaultfinderisthat,thebenefitfinderunderstandsthatwhilethingsdon'tnecessarilyhappenforthebest,itispossibletomakethebestofthingsthathappen.Things
4、willbeOK.Thingswillturnoutfine.Itmaytakeawhile.UntilIseethebenefitofit,itmaytakeawhileandIwillgetoverthehumiliationorthepainorthedisappointment.Butthat,too,shallpass.Inotherwords,thebenefitfinderunderstandsthatthesefeelingsaretemporary,giveshimorherselfthepermissiontobehumanandthenunderstandsthingsw
5、illturnoutfineattheend.Iknowthat.Beenthere.Donethat.Partoflife.Permissiontobehuman,whichincludespermissiontoexperiencetheseemotionsandalsothepermissiontofail.We'lltalkalotaboutthispermissiontofailwhenwetalkaboutperfectionism.Becauseperfectionismisrealintenseforyourfailureorwefeelit'sallornothing.Eit
6、herwehaveacompleteflawlessrecord,orit'suseless.It'seitherphenomenal,orcatastrophe.Allornothing.Thebenefitfinderunderstandsthatnature,thehumannaturedictatesthatwehavepainfulemotionsandhumannature,orbeinghumandictateswealsofail.Andthat,too,shallpass.Therearemanybenefitstobeabenefitfinder.Sothefirstben
7、efitiswesimplyfeelbetter.Wearehappierforit.Buttherearemanymanyothers.Forexample,SuzanneThompsonfromPomonaUniversitydidfollowingresearch,ShewenttopeoplewhohadjustlosttheirhomesinafireinCalifornia,there
