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1、101TheOneWhereMonicaGetsaNewRoommate(ThePilot-TheUncutVersion)[Scene:CentralPerk,Chandler,Joey,Phoebe,andMonicaarethere.]Monica:There'snothingtotell!He'sjustsomeguyIworkwith!Joey:Comeon,you'regoingoutwiththeguy!There'sgottabesomethingwrongwithhim!Chandler:AllrightJoey,benice. Sodoeshehaveahump?Ahu
2、mpandahairpiece?Phoebe:Wait,doesheeatchalk?(Theyallstare,bemused.)Phoebe:Just,'cause,Idon'twanthertogothroughwhatIwentthroughwithCarl-oh!Monica:Okay,everybodyrelax.Thisisnotevenadate.It'sjusttwopeoplegoingouttodinnerand-nothavingsex.Chandler:Soundslikeadatetome.[TimeLapse]Chandler:Alright,soI'mbac
3、kinhighschool,I'mstandinginthemiddleofthecafeteria,andIrealizeIamtotallynaked.All:Oh,yeah.Hadthatdream.Chandler:ThenIlookdown,andIrealizethere'saphone...there.Joey:Insteadof...?Chandler:That'sright.Joey:Neverhadthatdream.Phoebe:No.Chandler:Allofasudden,thephonestartstoring.NowIdon'tknowwhattodo,ev
4、erybodystartslookingatme.Monica:Andtheyweren'tlookingatyoubefore?!Chandler:Finally,IfigureI'dbetteranswerit,anditturnsoutit'smymother,whichisvery-veryweird,because-shenevercallsme![TimeLapse,Rosshasentered.]Ross:(mortified)Hi.Joey:Thisguysayshello,Iwannakillmyself.Monica:Areyouokay,sweetie?Ross:Ij
5、ustfeellikesomeonereacheddownmythroat,grabbedmysmallintestine,pulleditoutofmymouthandtieditaroundmyneck...Chandler:Cookie?Monica:(explainingtotheothers)Carolmovedherstuffouttoday.Joey:Ohh.Monica:(toRoss)Letmegetyousomecoffee.Ross:Thanks.Phoebe:Ooh!Oh!(ShestartstopluckattheairjustinfrontofRoss.)Ros
6、s:No,nodon't!Stopcleansingmyaura!No,justleavemyauraalone,okay?Phoebe:Fine! Bemurky!Ross:I'llbefine,alright?Really,everyone.Ihopeshe'llbeveryhappy.Monica:Noyoudon't.Ross:NoIdon't,tohellwithher,sheleftme!Joey:Andyouneverknewshewasalesbian...Ross:No!!Okay?!Whydoeseveryonekeepfixatingonthat?Shedidn'tk
7、now,howshouldIknow?101试播没什么好说的!他不过是我的同事!少来了,你和那个人一起出去!拜托,和你交往的男人一定有问题!打住,乔伊,嘴下留德。他驼背?既驼背又带假发?慢着,他吃粉笔吗?我只是不想你重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙。各位别急,这不算约会。我们不过是出去吃晚餐,而且不做爱。听起来好像是说我的约会。记得中学时代的梦,我站在自助餐厅,突然发现自己全身赤裸。我做过那样的梦。我低头一看,看见有一支电话……在那儿