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1、unit2TheSecretLanguageofBarrierSignals障碍信号的秘密语言Peoplefeelsaferbehindsomekindofphysicalbarrier.Ifasocialsituationisinanywaythreatening,thenthereisanimmediateurgetosetupsuchabarricade.Foratinychildfacedwithastranger,theproblemisusuallysolvedbyhidingbehinditsmoth
2、er'sbodyandpeepingoutattheintrudertoseewhatheorshewilldonext.Ifthemother'sbodyisnotavailable,thenachairorsomeotherpieceofsolidfurniturewilldo.Ifthestrangerinsistsoncomingcloser,thenthepeepingfacemustbehiddentoo.Iftheinsensitiveintrudercontinuestoapproachdespit
3、etheseobvioussignalsoffear,thenthereisnothingforitbuttoscreamorflee.在某种物理障碍后面,人们感觉更安全。如果一种社会形势有任何威胁,那么立即就会有建立这种障碍的冲动。对于一个面对陌生人的小孩来说,问题通常是通过躲在母亲身后,偷看入侵者,看他或她下一步会做什么来解决的。如果母亲的身体不在,那么一把椅子或其他一些结实的家具就可以了。如果陌生人坚持要走近,那么偷窥的脸也必须藏起来。如果麻木不仁的入侵者不顾这些明显的恐惧信号继续接近,那么除了尖叫或逃跑,它
4、就别无他法了。Thispatternisgraduallyreducedasthechildmatures.Inteenagegirlsitmaystillbedetectedinthegigglingcover-upoftheface,withhandsorpapers,whenembarrassed.Butbythetimeweareadult,thechildhoodhiding,whichdecreasedtoadolescentshyness,isexpectedtodisappearaltogether
5、,aswebravelystrideouttomeetourguests,hosts,companions,relatives,colleagues,customers,clients,orfriends.Eachsocialoccasioninvolvesus,onceagain,inencounterssimilartotheoneswhichmadeushideasscaredinfantsand,astheneachencounterisslightlythreatening.Inotherwords,th
6、efearsarestillthere,buttheirexpressionisblocked.Ouradultrolesdemandcontrolandsuppressionofanyprimitiveurgetowithdrawandhideourselvesaway.Themoreformaltheoccasionandthemoredominantorunfamiliaroursocialcompanions,themoreworryingthemomentofencounterbecomes.Watchi
7、ngpeopleundertheseconditions,itispossibletoobservethemanysmallwaysinwhichtheycontinueto"hide"behindtheirmother'sskirts.Theactionsarestillthere,buttheyaretransformedintolessobviousmovementsandpostures.ItisthesethataretheBarrierSignalsofadultlife.随着孩子的成熟,这种模式逐渐减
8、少。在十几岁的女孩中,当她们感到尴尬时,用手或纸捂着脸,咯咯地笑,仍然可以发现这种情况。但是,当我们长大成人的时候,当我们勇敢地大步走出去迎接客人、主人、同伴、亲戚、同事、顾客、客户或朋友的时候,童年的隐藏,也就是青春期的害羞,预计将完全消失。每一个社交场合都会让我们再次遭遇类似的遭遇,这些遭遇让我们像受惊的婴儿一样躲起来,因为每次遭遇都带有些许威胁。换句话