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1、JONATHANSAFRANFOEREXTREMLYLOUD&INCREDIBLYCLOSEContentsWHATTHE?WHYI’MNOTWHEREYOUAREGOOGOLPLEXMYFEELINGSTHEONLYANIMALWHYI’MNOTWHEREYOUAREHEAVYBOOTSHEAVIERBOOTSMYFEELINGSHAPPINESS,HAPPINESSWHYI’MNOTWHEREYOUARETHESIXTHBOROUGHMYFEELINGSALIVEANDALONEWHYI’MNO
2、TWHEREYOUAREASIMPLESOLUTIONTOANIMPOSSIBLEPROBLEMMYFEELINGSBEAUTIFULANDTRUEWHATTHE?Whataboutateakettle?Whatifthespoutopenedandclosedwhenthesteamcameout,soitwouldbecomeamouth,anditcouldwhistleprettymelodies,ordoShakespeare,orjustcrackupwithme?Icouldinven
3、tateakettlethatreadsinDad'svoice,soIcouldfallasleep,ormaybeasetofkettlesthatsingsthechorusof'YellowSubmarine',whichisasongbytheBeatles,whoIlove,becauseentomologyisoneofmyraisonsd'etre,whichisaFrenchexpressionthatIknow.AnothergoodthingisthatIcouldtrainm
4、yanustotalkwhenIfarted.IfIwantedtobeextremelyhilarious,I'dtrainittosay,'Wasn'tme!'everytimeImadeanincrediblybadfart.AndifIevermadeanincrediblybadfartintheHallofMir-rors,whichisinVersailles,whichisoutsideofParis,whichisinFrance,obviously,myanuswouldsay,
5、'Cen'etaispasmoi!'Whataboutlittlemicrophones?Whatifeveryoneswallowedthem,andtheyplayedthesoundsofourheartsthroughlittlespeakers,whichcouldbeinthepouchesofourover-alls?Whenyouskateboardeddownthestreetatnightyoucouldheareveryone'sheart-beat,andtheycouldh
6、earyours,sortoflikesonar.Oneweirdthingis,Iwonderifevery-one'sheartswouldstarttobeatatthesametime,likehowwomenwholivetogetherhavetheirmenstrualperiodsatthesametime,whichIknowabout,butdon'treallywanttoknowabout.Thatwouldbesoweird,exceptthattheplaceintheh
7、ospitalwherebabiesarebornwouldsoundlikeacrystalchandelierinahouseboat,becausethebabieswouldn'thavehadtimetomatchuptheirheartbeatsyet.AndatthefinishlineattheendoftheNewYorkCityMarathonitwouldsoundlikewar.Andalso,therearesomanytimeswhenyouneedtomakeaquic
8、kescape,buthumansdon'thavetheirownwings,ornotyet,anyway,sowhataboutabirdseedshirt?Anyway.Myfirstjujitsuclasswasthreeandahalfmonthsago.Self-defensewassomethingthatIwasextremelycuriousabout,forobviousreasons,andMomthoughtitwouldbegoodform
