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1、UNIT6Therehavebeenmajorchangesinattitudestowardcourtshipandmarriageamongthosemiddle-class,educatedAmericanswhoarecelebratedinthemediaandwhoarestylesettersforAmericanlife.CourtshipwasoncearegularpartofAmericanlife;itwasalongperiod,sometimeslastingformanyyears,andalsoatentativeone
2、,duringwhichafuturehusbandorwifecouldstillturnbackbutduringwhichtheirrelationshipbecamemoreandmoreexclusiveandsociallyrecognized・Courtshipbothprecededtheannouncementofanengagementandfollowedtheannouncement,althoughabrokenengagementwassoseriousthatitcouldbeexpectedtothrowthegirli
3、ntoadepressionfromwhichshemightneverrecover.那些中产阶级、受过教育,并在广播、电视、报纸等媒体方面占据主要位置的美国人是美国生活方式的典型代表。在他们中间,对待求婚与结婚的态度变化很大。求婚原来曾是美国人生活中的正常现象,恋爱的过程也很长,有的长达数年,而且带有考验性质。在这一过程中男女双方都可以改变原来的态度,拒绝对方的爱。当然有许多人之间的关系可能越来越专一,也逐渐地为社会所认可。人们一般是先恋爱后订婚,但也有先订婚后恋爱的。不过,订了婚再后悔是很糟糕的事,这会把一个姑娘推向痛苦的深渊而永远无法解脱。Th
4、ereweredefiniterulesgoverningthecourtshipperiod,fromtheHbundling”permittedinearlyNewEnglanddays,whenyoungcouplessleptsidebysidewithalltheirclotheson,tostrictetiquettethatprescribedwhatsortofgiftsamanmightgivehisfianceeincircleswhereexpensivepresentswerecustomary.Giftshadtobeeith
5、erimmediatelyconsumable,likecandyorflowers,orindestructible,tikediamonds-whichcouldbegivenback,theirvalueunimpaired,iftherewasariftintherelationship.Objectsthatcouldbedamagedbyuse,likeglovesandfurs,wereforbidden.Agentlemanmightcallforaladyinacaborinhisownequipage,butitwasregarde
6、dasinappropriateforhimtopayforhertrainfareiftheywentonajourney.以前恋爱期间的男女双方要遵守许多明确的规范。从早年新英格兰时期流传下来的一个习惯是,恋爱的青年男女可以在一起“和衣而睡"。在送贵重礼品成风的圈子里,一个男子要对自己的未婚妻送什么样的礼物也有严格的讲究。礼物可以是马上就能用的,如糖果或鲜花,或不易损坏的,如钻石一一如果关系破裂了,还可以退回,价值也不会受损。容易用旧、用坏的物品,诸如手套和皮货之类的东西是禁止赠送的。男方可以雇出租马车或者用自家的马车去接女方,但如一起乘火车旅行男
7、方为女方付旅费则被视为是不合适的。Howmuchchaperoningwasnecessary,andhowmuchprivacythecourtingcouplewasallowed,wasamatterofvaryinglocalcustom.Longwalkshomethroughcountrylanesafterchurchandsittingupintheparloraftertheireidershadretiredforthenightmayhavebeenpermitted,butthebridewasexpectedtobeavirg
8、inatmarriage・Theprocedureforbreakingoffanengage