Catch-22（第二十二条军规） - Joseph Heller

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1、“Catch-22”ByJosephHeller2TheTexanItwasloveatfirstsight.ThefirsttimeYossariansawthechaplainhefellmadlyinlovewithhim.Yossarianwasinthehospitalwithapaininhisliverthatfelljustshortofbeingjaundice.Thedoctorswerepuzzledbythefactthatitwasn’tquitejaundice.Ifitbecamejaundicetheyco

2、uldtreatit.Ifitdidn’tbecomejaundiceandwentawaytheycoulddischargehim.Butthisjustbeingshortofjaundiceallthetimeconfusedthem.Eachmorningtheycamearound,threebriskandseriousmenwithefficientmouthsandinefficienteyes,accompaniedbybriskandseriousNurseDuckett,oneofthewardnurseswhod

3、idn’tlikeYossarian.Theyreadthechartatthefootofthebedandaskedimpatientlyaboutthepain.Theyseemedirritatedwhenhetoldthemitwasexactlythesame.‘Stillnomovement?’thefullcoloneldemanded.Thedoctorsexchangedalookwhenheshookhishead.‘Givehimanotherpill.’NurseDuckettmadeanotetogiveYos

4、sariananotherpill,andthefourofthemmovedalongtothenextbed.NoneofthenurseslikedYossarian.Actually,thepaininhisliverhadgoneaway,butYossariandidn’tsayanythingandthedoctorsneversuspected.Theyjustsuspectedthathehadbeenmovinghisbowelsandnottellinganyone.Yossarianhadeverythinghew

5、antedinthehospital.Thefoodwasn’ttoobad,andhismealswerebroughttohiminbed.Therewereextrarationsoffreshmeat,andduringthehotpartoftheafternoonheandtheotherswereservedchilledfruitjuiceorchilledchocolatemilk.Apartfromthedoctorsandthenurses,nooneeverdisturbedhim.Foralittlewhilei

6、nthemorninghehadtocensorletters,buthewasfreeafterthattospendtherestofeachdaylyingaroundidlywithaclearconscience.Hewascomfortableinthehospital,anditwaseasytostayonbecausehealwaysranatemperatureof101.HewasevenmorecomfortablethanDunbar,whohadtokeepfallingdownonhisfaceinorder

7、togethismealsbroughttohiminbed.Afterhehadmadeuphismindtospendtherestofthewarinthehospital,Yossarianwroteletterstoeveryoneheknewsayingthathewasinthehospitalbutnevermentioningwhy.Onedayhehadabetteridea.Toeveryoneheknewhewrotethathewasgoingonaverydangerousmission.‘Theyaskedf

8、orvolunteers.It’sverydangerous,butsomeonehastodoit.I’llwriteyoutheinstantIgetback.’Andhehadnotwr